Old Sailors' Almanac

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

Week 50, 2020

Previous Week   December 07, 2020 - December 13, 2020  Next Week

United States Marines storm Mogadishu, Somalia on December 09, 1992

United States Marines storm Mogadishu, Somalia on December 09, 1992

United States Marines storm Mogadishu, Somalia: On December 9, 1992, 1,800 United States Marines arrive in Mogadishu, Somalia, to spearhead a multinational force aimed at restoring order in the conflict-ridden country.

Following centuries of colonial rule by countries including Portugal, Britain and Italy, Mogadishu became the capital of an independent Somalia in 1960. Less than 10 years later, a military group led by Major General Muhammad Siad Barre seized power and declared Somalia a socialist state. A drought in the mid-1970s combined with an unsuccessful rebellion by ethnic Somalis in a neighboring province of Ethiopia to deprive many of food and shelter. By 1981, close to 2 million of the country’s inhabitants were homeless.

Though a peace accord was signed with Ethiopia in 1988, fighting increased between rival clans within Somalia, and in January 1991 Barre was forced to flee the capital. Over the next 23 months, Somalia’s civil war killed some 50,000 people; another 300,000 died of starvation as United Nations peacekeeping forces struggled in vain to restore order and provide relief amid the chaos of war.

United States Marines storm Mogadishu, Somalia on December 09, 1992 (The Capture of the Hessians at Trenton, December 26, 1776, by John Trumbull, showing Captain William Washington, with a wounded hand, on the right and Lt. Monroe, severely wounded and helped by Dr. John Riker)

In early December 1992, outgoing U.S. President George H.W. Bush sent the contingent of Marines to Mogadishu as part of a mission dubbed Operation Restore Hope. Backed by the U.S. troops, international aid workers were soon able to restore food distribution and other humanitarian aid operations. Sporadic violence continued, including the murder of 24 U.N. soldiers from Pakistan in 1993. As a result, the U.N. authorized the arrest of General Mohammed Farah Aidid, leader of one of the rebel clans. On October 3, 1993, during an attempt to make the arrest, rebels shot down two of the U.S. Army’s Black Hawk helicopters and killed 18 American soldiers.

As horrified TV viewers watched images of the bloodshed - including footage of Aidid’s supporters dragging the body of one dead soldier through the streets of Mogadishu, cheering.

President Bill Clinton immediately gave the order for all American soldiers to withdraw from Somalia by March 31, 1994. Other Western nations followed suit. When the last U.N. peacekeepers left in 1995, ending a mission that had cost more than $2 billion, Mogadishu still lacked a functioning government. A ceasefire accord signed in Kenya in 2002 failed to put a stop to the violence, though a new parliament was convened in 2004.

History Channel / Wikipedia / Homeland Security Digital Library.org / ARMY.mil / Global Security.org / Defense Technical Information Center (DTIC).mil / United States Marines storm Mogadishu, Somalia on December 09, 1992 (YouTube) video

“This Day in History”

This Day in History December 09

• 1775 American Revolutionary War: Battle of Great Bridge: British troops lose and leave Virginia soon afterward.

• 1835 Texas Revolution: Texian Army capture San Antonio, Texas.

• 1851 YMCA in North America is established in Montreal.

• 1861 American Civil War: Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War is established by the U.S. Congress.

• 1868 The first traffic lights are installed, outside the Palace of Westminster in London. Resembling railway signals, they use semaphore arms and are illuminated at night by red and green gas lamps.

• 1917 World War I: Field Marshal Allenby captures Jerusalem, Palestine.

• 1935 Student protests in Beiping (now Beijing)'s Tiananmen Square, dispersed by government.

• 1935 Downtown Athletic Club Trophy: Later renamed Heisman Trophy is awarded for the first time. The winner is halfback Jay Berwanger of the University of Chicago.

• 1937 Second Sino-Japanese War: Battle of Nanking: Japanese troops under the command of Lt. General Asaka Yasuhiko launch an assault on the Chinese city of Nanjing (Nanking).

• 1941 World War II: The American 19th Bombardment Group attacks Japanese ships off the coast of Vigan, Luzon.

• 1946 Subsequent Nuremberg Trials: “Doctors' trial:” , prosecuting physicians and officers alleged to be involved in Nazi human experimentation and mass murder under the guise of euthanasia.

• 1950 Cold War: Harry Gold is sentenced to 30 years in jail for helping Klaus Fuchs pass information about the Manhattan Project to the Soviet Union. His testimony is later instrumental in the prosecution of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

• 1953 Red Scare: General Electric announces that all communist employees will be discharged from the company.

• 1965 A Charlie Brown Christmas, first in a series of Peanuts television specials, debuts on CBS.

• 1968 “The Mother of All Demos:” Douglas Engelbart publicly debuting the computer mouse, hypertext, and the bit-mapped graphical user interface using the oN-Line System (NLS).


Understanding Military Terminology: At the Marine Corps Museum: Norman Rockwell's “The War Hero”

Understanding Military Terminology

Personnel Security Investigation

(DOD) An inquiry into the activities of an individual, designed to develop pertinent information pertaining to trustworthiness and suitability for a position of trust as related to loyalty, character, emotional stability, and reliability.

Also called PSI.

Joint Publications (JP 2-01) Joint and National Intelligence Support to Military Operations

Personnel Services Support

Service-provided sustainment activities that support a Service member during both joint exercises and joint operations.

Also called PSS.

Joint Publications (JP 1-0) Doctrine for the Armed Forces of the United States


“Tales of Legendary Ghost Ships - Legend of Eliza Battle”

The Old Salt’s Corner

“Tales of Legendary Ghost Ships”

Legend of Eliza Battle

One of the greatest catastrophes ever to occur on the Tombigbee River was the burning of the steamboat Eliza Battle on the night of March 1, 1858, in which between 80 and 90 persons lost their lives.

The night was gloomy and dark with a heavy sleet falling and bitter cold wind blowing. The river was many feet above normal, only the tops of the trees growing on the low banks showing above the water. Then came the alarming cry of fire. This cry was screamingly repeated when one person after another made the horrible discovery that the boat was afire. There was an immediate panic.

In the brisk wind the fire spread rapidly and soon the greater part of the boat was engulfed. Men began to push bales of cotton into the river and try to get their womenfolk on them. Dozens of persons leaped into the river and tried to reach the shore. Many reached and clung to the tops of partially submerged trees. Others got ashore but could render no assistance to those in the treetops, many of whom froze to death during the night.

Captain Stone, master of the Eliza Battle, in desperation ordered the pilot into the bank, but it was found some of the tiller ropes leading to the rudders had burned in two and was almost unmanageable. However, several miles further down the river, the current veered the burning boat close to shore near Wehoeta, a near landing at this point permitting the few persons left aboard to leap off and swim ashore.

Daylight coming shortly afterward, a young man, with only a skiff available sought to rescue persons in treetops up and down the river. About 50 were taken from the treetops in a half frozen condition. They were put in plantation homes and outhouses and others laid on the ground on hay and corn fodder and Negro slaves built huge fired to help them thaw out.

Those rescued, as they regained somewhat of understanding, told grim tales of hearing persons in treetops losing consciousness frozen numbness and falling into the river and drowning. At the Pettigrew plantation at Wehoeta some 80 persons were cared for who had been rescued, only one of who had succumbed from exposure survived.

There were many acts of heroism in this disaster and are always in such emergencies, but it would be useless to try to enumerate them. Men died in efforts to save their loved ones and women died in their efforts to save their children, though fortunately there were few aboard the failed trip of the Eliza Battle.

Stories have been written about the origin of the fire, some that professional gamblers deliberately set fire to the boat when they were pulled off by the captain. Another said the boat’s safe was robbed by two cracksmen and that when leaving they crashed an oil burning lantern on a bale of cotton so the fire would cover their robbery. The most plausible account is that a merrymaking passenger threw a cigar sub on a bale of cotton thinking he was tossing into the river and the fire resulted.

River Boat Daves / Wikipedia


“I’m Just Sayin’”

“I’m Just Sayin”

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you,

pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

“In order to learn the most important lessons of life,

one must each day surmount a fear.”

“For every minute you remain angry,

you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Thought for the Day”

“Thought for the Day”

“Why is propaganda so much more successful when it stirs up hatred

than when it tries to stir up friendly feeling?”

“The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man,

but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.”

“To fear love is to fear life,

and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”

~ Bertrand Russell


“What I Have Learned”

“What I Learned”

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast;

a wild beast may wound your body,

but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

~ Anonymous


Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Are Any of the Scientific Instruments Left on the Moon By the Apollo Astronauts Still Functional?

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Are Any of the Scientific Instruments Left on the Moon By the Apollo Astronauts Still Functional?

By the time NASA's Apollo Program came to a close in December 1972, six crews of astronauts, six Apollo command modules, and more than 800 pounds of Moon rocks and lunar soil had been brought back to Earth. But some things were intentionally left behind.

Apollos 11, 12 and 14 through 17 each landed successfully in a different region of the Moon, and evidence of our visit remains at each landing site. There are portions of six spindly Lunar Modules, three electric Lunar Roving Vehicles and an array of scientific instruments.

Weight limits forced so much material to be left on the Moon. “The more they threw out, the more rocks they could bring back”, explained Stan Starr, deputy project director and chief engineer with Dynamac at NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Are Any of the Scientific Instruments Left on the Moon By the Apollo Astronauts Still Functional?

The lower half of the Lunar Module (the descent stage) allowed the crew to land on the Moon and served as a launch pad when crews left the lunar surface. An American flag was implanted at each landing site, and commemorative plaques were affixed to one leg of each Lunar Module bearing the message that humans from Earth visited with peaceful intentions.

Apollo science was dedicated largely to lunar geology. Seismometers, instruments that detect and measure moonquakes and meteor impacts, were left by each lunar landing crew. Once they were no longer needed, the Lunar Module ascent stages were deliberately aimed at the lunar surface to provide scientists with a controlled seismic event. Other instruments monitored lunar gravity changes and temperatures beneath the surface. A wide variety of geological tools, such as long-handled scoops, core tubes and other gear also were discarded.

The lunar crews even left behind most of their cameras, through which millions of people shared in these missions from Earth, and conserved space by bringing home only the film. Apollo 16 also left a gold-plated extreme ultraviolet telescope that performed the first astronomical observations from another heavenly body.

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Are Any of the Scientific Instruments Left on the Moon By the Apollo Astronauts Still Functional?

Apollos 11, 14 and 15 left behind Laser Ranging RetroReflectors that are still working after three decades. These arrays provide information about the distance to the Moon and how that distance expands over time. The reflectors are so small that aiming lasers at them from Earth is like using a rifle to hit a moving dime two miles away.

The astronauts had some fun, too. Alan Shepard, commander of Apollo 14, hit three golf balls that still remain in the Moon's Fra Mauro region. His first two shots didn't fare well, but his third swing sent the ball sailing for “miles and miles and miles”, Shepard reported.

The nation's Vision for Space Exploration calls for NASA to return to the Moon as a stepping stone toward Mars and beyond. Could any of the abundant materials left on the Moon from the Apollo Program have any use?

“Astronauts could potentially replace the batteries in the rovers and reuse them, if their gears and other moving parts are not full of dust”, Starr said. “Perhaps they could recharge the oxygen and carbon dioxide scrubbers in the Apollo backpacks, or get some use out of the helmets and gloves. But after all this time on the surface, dust could have gotten into everything. Use of this equipment would require careful analysis and planning, since it wasn't designed to be reused.”

In the meantime, the hardware we left behind will remain exactly where we left it, waiting in the dusty silence for us to return.

NASA / Wikipedia / Space.com / Science News.org / Mental Floss / Quora / Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum / Are Any of the Scientific Instruments Left on the Moon By the Apollo Astronauts Still Functional? (YouTube) video


NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang - U.S. Navy

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang

R2D2: Dome-shaped Phalanx CIWS system, after the visually similar Star Wars droid. Also called “R2D2 with a hard-on”.

Rack: Bed.

Rack Burns: Reddish marks seen on the face of a sailor who has just emerged from sleeping in his/her rack. Scorned upon if he/she was not supposed to be there.

Rack Hound (derogatory but usually with a hint of envy): Sailor that spends more than his/her fair share of time in the “Rack”. Usually spoken when seeing somebody with Rack Burns. “You are such a Rack Hound!”

RADCON Math:

(1) Term used by Nukes to describe a method of estimation to arrive at an answer.

(2) Used to prove a desired numerical answer with substantiated math, either correct or incorrect.

Example: Watch Officer - “What is pH?” ELT - “What do you want it to be?”

Wiktionary.org


Just for MARINES - The Few. The Proud.

Just for you MARINE

R/S: Respectfully Submitted, used as an end greeting in written communication.

Rack or Sack: Bed, inappropriate to use the Army term “bunk” except when used in conjunction with “junk on the bunk”.

Wikipedia.org


Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

HSC-4 Helicopter Sea Combat (HSC) Squadron FOUR - nicknamed the “Black Knights”

United States Navy Naval Air Station - Helicopter Sea Combat (HSC), Naval Air Station North Island, Naval Base Coronado (NBC) in San Diego County, California / Squadron Lineage: HC-4: June 30, 1952 - March 2012 / HSC-4: March 2012 - present.


Where Did That Saying Come From

Where Did That Saying Come From?

Where Did That Saying Come From? “An exception to every rule”

An exception to every rule:

Meaning: Normally with these meanings and origins the meaning is well-understood or self-evident and the interesting aspect is how, where and when the phrase originated. This one is a little different - it's the meaning that is generally not understood.

To the untutored ear it might appear to mean 'if there's a rule and I can find a counter-example to it, then the rule must be true'. This is clearly nonsense; for example, if our rule were 'all birds can fly', the existence of a flightless bird like a penguin hardly proves that rule to be correct. In fact it proves just the opposite.

So, and here the maxim 'a little learning is a dangerous thing' comes into play, it has been suggested that it's an alternative meaning of the word prove that is the source of the confusion. Prove can mean several things, including 'to establish as true' and 'to put to trial or to test'.

The second option is what is used in 'proving ground', 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating', etc. It could be argued then that the phrase means 'it is the exception that tests whether the rule is true or not'. In our example the existence of a bird that can't fly would put the 'all birds can fly' rule to the test (and find it wanting).

That's all very well and most people would be happy to stop there. Unfortunately, when we go back to the legal origin of the phrase we see that it doesn't mean that at all. It's the word exception rather than prove that is causing the confusion here. By exception we usually mean 'something unusual, not following a rule'. What it means here though is 'the act of leaving out or ignoring'.

If we have a statement like 'entry is free of charge on Sundays', we can reasonably assume that, as a general rule, entry is charged for. So, from that statement, here's our rule:

You usually have to pay to get in.

The exception on Sunday is demonstrating that the rule exists. It isn't testing whether the incorrect rule 'you have to pay' is true or not, and it certainly isn't proving that incorrect rule to be true.

History: It's a legal maxim, established in English law in the early 17th century. Written, as law was in those days, in Latin:

“Exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis.”

Interpreted to mean ‘exception confirms the rule in the cases not excepted.’

It has (slightly modified) examples in print going back to at least 1617:

Collins: Indefinites are equivalent to vniversalls especially where one exception being made, it is plaine that all others are thereby cut off, according to the rule Exceptio figit regulam in non exceptis.

While not the earliest citation, this, from Giovanni Torriano's Piazza universale di proverbi italiani, or A Common Place of Italian Proverbs, 1666, expresses the idea clearly:

“The exception gives Authority to the Rule.”.

Phrases.org UK


Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Genetic variation not an obstacle to gene drive strategy to control mosquitoesPushing the limits of 2-D supramoleculesMolecular networks serve as cellular blueprintsStudy finds evidence for existence of elusive 'metabolon'Can coral reefs 'have it all'? Phys.org / MedicalXpress / TechXplore

Giant viruses aren’t alive. So why have they stolen genes essential for life?Male lemurs may spread fruity ‘love potions’ with their tailsStar’s strange path around black hole proves Einstein right—againShrewd water use helped South America’s first empire thrive. So why did a drought destroy it? Science AAAS


Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good - real news story)

Strongest evidence yet that neutrinos explain how the universe exists

Strongest evidence yet that neutrinos explain how the universe exists

Source: Imperial College London

Summary: New data throws more support behind the theory that neutrinos are the reason the universe is dominated by matter.

The current laws of physics do not explain why matter persists over antimatter - why the universe is made of 'stuff'. Scientists believe equal amounts of matter and antimatter were created at the beginning of the universe, but this would mean they should have wiped each other out, annihilating the universe as it began.

Instead, physicists suggest there must be differences in the way matter and antimatter behave that explain why matter persisted and now dominates the universe. Each particle of matter has an antimatter equivalent, and neutrinos are no different, with an antimatter equivalent called antineutrinos.

They should be exact opposites in their properties and behaviour, which is what makes them annihilate each other on contact.

Now, an international team of researchers that make up the T2K Collaboration, including Imperial College London scientists, have found the strongest evidence yet that neutrinos and antineutrinos behave differently, and therefore may not wipe each other out.

Dr Patrick Dunne, from the Department of Physics at Imperial, said:

“This result brings us closer than ever before to answering the fundamental question of why the matter in our universe exists. If confirmed - at the moment we're over 95 per cent sure - it will have profound implications for physics and should point the way to a better understanding of how our universe evolved.”

Strongest evidence yet that neutrinos explain how the universe exists

Previously, scientists have found some differences in behaviour between matter and antimatter versions of subatomic particles called quarks, but the differences observed so far do not seem to be large enough to account for the dominance of matter in the universe.

However, T2K's new result indicates that the differences in the behaviour of neutrinos and antineutrinos appear to be quite large. Neutrinos are fundamental particles but do not interact with normal matter very strongly, such that around 50 trillion neutrinos from the Sun pass through your body every second.

Neutrinos and antineutrinos can come in three 'flavours', known as muon, electron and tau. As they travel, they can 'oscillate' - changing into a different flavour. The fact that muon neutrinos oscillate into electron neutrinos was first discovered by the T2K experiment in 2013.

To get the new result, the team fired beams of muon neutrinos and antineutrinos from the J-PARC facility at Tokai, Japan, and detected how many electron neutrinos and antineutrinos arrived at the Super-Kamiokande detector 295km away.

The available data also strongly discount the possibility that neutrinos and antineutrinos are as just likely as each other to change flavour. Dr Dunne said:

“What our result shows is that we're more than 95 per cent sure that matter neutrinos and antineutrinos behave differently. This is big news in itself; however we do already know of other particles that have matter-antimatter differences that are too small to explain our matter-dominated universe.”

Therefore, measuring the size of the difference is what matters for determining whether neutrinos can answer this fundamental question. Our result today finds that unlike for other particles, the result in neutrinos is compatible with many of the theories explaining the origin of the universe's matter dominance.

While the result is the strongest evidence yet that neutrinos and antineutrinos behave differently, the T2K Collaboration is working to reduce any uncertainties and gather more data by upgrading the detectors and beamlines, including the new Hyper-Kamiokande detector to replace the Super-Kamiokande. A new experiment, called DUNE, is also under construction in the U.S. Imperial is involved in both.

Imperial researchers have been involved in the T2K Collaboration since 2004, starting with conceptual designs on whiteboards and research and development on novel particle detector components that were key to building this experiment, which was finally completed and turned on in 2010.

For the latest result, the team contributed to the statistical analysis of the results and ensuring the signal they observe is real, as well as including the effects of how neutrinos interact with matter, which is one of the largest uncertainties that go into the analysis.

Professor Yoshi Uchida said:

“When we started, we knew that seeing signs of differences between neutrinos and antineutrinos in this way was something that could take decades, if they could ever be seen at all, so it is almost like a dream to have our result be celebrated on the cover of Nature this week.”

Science Daily (04/15/2020) video


© CEASAR CHOPPY by cartoonist Marty Gavin - archives Ceasar Choppy's Navy! “© CEASAR CHOPPY” by Marty Gavin

SONG FACTS

“In Dreams” - Roy Orbison 1963

“In Dreams” video - Roy Orbison
Album: For The Lonely: 18 Greatest Hits
Released 1963

Roy Orbison claimed in interviews that the lyrics for “In Dreamsvideo came to him in a dream; he wrote the music once he woke up. Typical of many Orbison songs, it's a heartbreaker: asleep at night is the only time he can be with the one he loves, as when he wakes up, she's gone.

In Dreamsvideo is featured in a key scene in the 1986 film Blue Velvet where Dean Stockwell's character lip-synchs to the song. Orbison initially rejected director David Lynch's request to use this song, but later made a video for the track with scenes from the film.

The use of “In Dreams in Blue Velvetvideo sparked a career resurgence for Orbison. Because of legal entanglements, he didn't have access to the master recordings of many of his hits, so after the movie drummed up interest in his work, he set about re-recording his songs for a compilation called “In Dreams: The Greatest Hits”. When Orbison asked Lynch if he could use footage of the film in a video for the re-recorded “In Dreams”, Lynch not only agreed, but offered to help with the song. With T Bone Burnett producing, Lynch directed Orbison in his performance as he would an actor in a film, and it worked, allowing Orbison to be faithful to the original recording by doing it with no overdubs.

Shortly before he died, Roy Orbison recorded a follow-up to this song called “In The Real Worldvideo on his 1989 album Mystery Girl.

Roy Orbison official site / Rock & Roll Hall of Fame / Billboard / All Music / Song Facts / Roy Orbison

Image: “For The Lonely: 18 Greatest Hits (album)” by Roy Orbison


Jeopardy

A Test for People Who Know Everything

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “THE BIG BATTALIONS” ($200)

“Russia leads the world with more than 20,000 of these, like the new T-14 with an automated turret & 125mm cannon.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer National Interest.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “THE BIG BATTALIONS” ($400)

“The U.S. rules the seas with 11 of these mighty ships, more than the rest of the world's fleets combined.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer NAVY.mil

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “THE BIG BATTALIONS” ($600)

“North Korea has one of the largest fleets of these craft, including the Yono class midget type.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer National Interest.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “THE BIG BATTALIONS” ($800)

“This country's nearly 2.2 million active military personnel is by far the world's largest standing force.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer National Interest.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “THE BIG BATTALIONS” ($1,000)

“Together, these 2 countries that fought a late 1940s war over Kashmir now deploy about 2 million active troops.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer National Interest.org


Answer to Last Week's Test

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A FISHY SITUATION” ($200)

“In addition to having a pretty nifty weapon as its long upper jaw, this toothless fish can swim up to 60 mph.”

● Answer: a Swordfish. Oceana.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A FISHY SITUATION” ($400)

“The bluefin variety of this food fish can weigh half a ton.”

● Answer: a Tuna. Oceana.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A FISHY SITUATION” ($600)

“You'd have me down, down, down on my knees now, wouldn't you, this predatory fish here?”

● Answer: a Barracuda. Oceana.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A FISHY SITUATION” ($800)

“This 'body organ' fish breathes out of water using its swim bladder; if held underwater, some will drown.”

● Answer: a Lungfish. Oceana.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A FISHY SITUATION” ($1,000)

“The 'compleat' male type of this fish permanently attaches itself to a female to obtain nutrients & to reproduce.”

● Answer: (What is a seahorse?) an Anglerfish. Oceana.org


Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

“Farmer Joe decided His Injurie”

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company, responsible for the accident, to court.

In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe.

“Didn't you say, 'I'm fine', at the scene of the accident?” asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...”

“I didn't ask for a long, drawn-out story”, the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,'I'm fine'!”

Farmer Joe said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now, several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, “I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.”

He continued,

“I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.”

“Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

“Then, he came across the road with his gun in his hand, looked at me and said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'”