Old Sailors' Almanac


Week 22, 2018

Previous Week   May 28, 2018 - June 03, 2018  Next Week

News of death camp killings becomes public for first time on June 01, 1942

News of death camp killings becomes public for first time on June 01, 1942

News of death camp killings becomes public for first time: On this day in 1942, a Warsaw underground newspaper, the Liberty Brigade, makes public the news of the gassing of tens of thousands of Jews at Chelmno, a Nazi-operated death camp in Poland—almost seven months after extermination of prisoners began.

A year earlier, the means of effecting what would become the “Final Solution,” the mass extermination of European Jewry, was devised: 700 Jews were murdered by channeling gas fumes back into a van used to transport them to the village of Chelmno, in Poland. This “gas van” would become the death chamber for a total of 360,000 Jews from more than 200 communities in Poland. The advantage of this form of extermination was that it was silent and invisible.

One month before the infamous Wannsee Conference of January 1942, during which Nazi officials decided to address formally the “Jewish question,” the gas vans in Chelmno were used to kill up to 1,000 Jews a day. The vans provided the “Final Solution” for Adolf Eichmann and other Wannsee attendees. The mass gassings were the most orderly and systematic means of eliminating European Jewry. Eventually, more such vans were employed in other parts of Poland. There was no thought of selecting out the “fit” from the “unfit” for slave labor, as in Auschwitz. There was only one goal: utter extermination.

On June 1, 1942, the story of a young Jew, Emanuel Ringelblum, (who escaped from the Chelmno death camp after being forced to bury bodies as they were thrown out of the gas vans), was published in the underground Polish Socialist newspaper Liberty Brigade. The West now knew the “bloodcurdling news… about the slaughter of Jews”, and it had a name - Chelmno.

History Channel / Wikipedia / Britannica Encyclopedia / USHMM.org / Jewish Virtual Library.org / Yad Vashem.org Nazi Extermination camp (YouTube) video

U.S. Navy Aircraft Carrier USS Washington (U.S.Navy.mil)

The Old Salt’s Corner

The Operations Department

This module will cover the organization within the operations department. As with ship’s organizational structure in the previous module, the Operations Department from ship to ship will vary slightly. As before, we will use an example from a typical carrier for purposes of instruction.

Elements of a typical carrier Operations Departments include the Combat Direction Center, Air Operations, Intelligence Center, Meteorology, Electronics Material Office, and Strike Operations. Already mentioned in the previous module, the Carrier Intelligence Center (CVIC) is administratively located within the Operations Department.

A majority of CVIC’s contacts will be with other divisions within Operations and the Air wing. Specific functions within each division of the Operations Department are abbreviated by a two-letter code beginning with "O" for Operations. THEY WILL BE LISTED NEXT WEEK.

“I’m Just Sayin’”

“I’m Just Sayin”

“There is nothing government can give you

that it hasn't taken from you in the first place.”

“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt;

long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

“Success is not final,

failure is not fatal:

it is the courage to continue that counts.”

“Success consists of going from failure

to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

~ Winston Churchill

“Thought for the Day”

“Thought for the Day”

“When you do something beautiful

and nobody noticed,

do not be sad.

For the sun every morning

is a beautiful spectacle

and yet

most of the audience still sleeps.”

~ Anonymous

“What I Have Learned”

“What I Have Learned”

“People who wonder if the glass

is half empty or half full

miss the point.

The glass is refillable.”

~ Anonymous

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

A Shelter’s Call For Old Chairs Goes Viral, And The Pets Couldn’t Be Happier

A Shelter’s Call For Old Chairs Goes Viral, And The Pets Couldn’t Be Happier

The Knox County Humane Society in Galesburg, Illinois, recently put out a call for used chairs.

“The shelter pets absolutely love their chairs!” the organization, a no-kill shelter, wrote on Facebook. “If anyone has any older chairs they no longer want, please think of the shelter pets!”

The public responded in a big way.

The shelter released footage showing their furry pals kicking back and relaxing in their comfy chairs.

The furniture isn’t just going to the dogs. The organization also posted a video showing some of their cats enjoying the donated chairs.

These chairs probably would’ve been sent out to the curb for trash collection, Buckmaster said, but now they’re getting a second life as comfy new resting spots for pets in need.

“We never dreamed it would take off like this”, Buckmaster said. “I really just wanted the dogs to feel more comfortable while staying at the shelter.”

Animal shelters around the country also need supplies - including chairs - and donations. More importantly, the pets need forever homes. To rescue a pet from a shelter near you, try Petfinder, Adopt-A-Pet or the ASPCA.

Huffington Post (03/09/2018) video

Gross Things That Could Be On Your Toothbrush

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Gross Things That Could Be On Your Toothbrush

What you can do to keep your toothbrush clean

First, keeping your toothbrush clean is not difficult. In most cases all you have to do is take it out of the bathroom. Be sure wherever you put it is clean.If taking something you use in the bathroom out of the bathroom sounds silly to you, consider putting your toothbrush in a case case or placing it inside a medicine cabinet or bathroom cupboard.

Just putting it somewhere else wont keep it entirely clean, however. At some point, bacteria is going to make it onto your toothbrush. That's why it's a good idea to soak your toothbrush in peroxide or mouthwash occasionally to attack bacteria and any other nasty stuff growing on it.

Gross Things That Could Be On Your Toothbrush

E. Coli

If your bathroom has the sink and toilet in one room, and you flush with the lid open, there is fecal matter on everything within a 5 to 6 foot radius. Flushing aerosolizes your poop, depositing bacteria like Escherichia coli, or E. coli, directly onto your toothbrush—and brushing with an E. coli-loaded instrument could make you sick.

Gastroenteritis, or infectious diarrhea, is one such illness. “In bathrooms with a toilet attached, [researchers] looked at toothbrushes in normal use between one and three months,” Geisinger says. “At the three-month mark, they found E. coli colonies. That’s a good reminder to replace your toothbrush every three months.”

Once E. coli and the other bacteria on this list form colonies, they’re a lot harder to kill because “they start to make an extracellular matrix, which protects them from antimicrobial medicines that you might use in the toothpaste, mouthwash, and even antibiotics.”

The colonies on your toothbrush are similar to the algae that grows at the bottom of the pool,“Your pool is full of water—you can’t just swish it around and get that algae off,” ... “It’s got to be scrubbed off because it’s protected by this extracellular matrix. In fact, complex biofilms have a circulatory system. So they’re almost like a living organism, composed of all this different bacteria.”

Staphylococcus aureus

This bacteria typically lives in your respiratory tract and on your skin, and, under the right conditions, can be responsible for some pretty nasty stuff.

Necrotizing fasciitis occurs when bacteria enters the skin through an open wound, and, according to the CDC, most often affects people who have other health problems that might hinder their bodies’ efforts to fight infection. This condition very rare, but you still don’t want the stuff that could cause it on your toothbrush.

Streptococcus mutans

It makes sense that this bacteria would be on your toothbrush - it’s responsible for tooth decay. “You don’t want to take tooth decaying material from one area of your mouth and put it in another while you’re trying to do your due-diligence about removing deposits.”

Keeping bacteria and other nasty stuff to a minimum on your toothbrush could be as simple as what you buy. According to one study, “Toothbrushes with lighter or clear bristles retain up to 50 percent less bacteria than colored toothbrush bristles” potentially because clear toothbrush bristles have less porosity than colored ones. And instead of brushes with fancy perforated or rubber handles, opt for solid plastic handles which studies have shown “had less microbio load than larger or perforated or multi-surface handles [because there are] fewer nooks and crannies for the bacteria to hide in”.

Lactobacillus and Pseudomonas

These are two bacteria that have been associated with pneumonia type infections, particularly in hospital settings where a patient is on a ventilator, Geisinger says. Thought Lactobacillus is typically considered a “friendly” bacteria - it’s sometimes used to treat diarrhea and is present in foods and our own guts—it can also be linked to cavities and tooth decay. Pseudomonas can cause eye infections if you use contacts and don't clean them adequately.

Herpes simplex type one

“Herpes simplex type one used to be called oral herpes, but now almost 50 percent of genital lesions are also herpes simplex type one.” ,,, “The viruses are different than bacteria because they come in little capsules, and they’re not technically alive—they need your cells to replicate. In a patient who has an active herpes outbreak, an oral cold sore, that virus can be retained on the toothbrush up to a week.”


Another virus that can make a home on your toothbrush is Human papillomavirus, or HPV. ““It’s linked to both cervical cancer and esophageal and oral cancers” ... “The interesting thing about HPV is that the presence of HPV in your mouth seems to decrease if you do a good job with toothbrushing.” And once again, if you share toothbrushes with someone who has HPV, you could be at risk for contracting it yourself. “Both viruses are transmissible in saliva.” ... “so viral transmission through shared toothbrushes is a possibility.”


This fungus is responsible for yeast infections and diaper rash. The most common species in the mouth is called Candida albicans, which causes oral thrush - basically, a yeast infection in your mouth. “[C. albincans] is linked to higher decay rates in kids.” ... “In kids that have candida infections, about 15 percent have candida reservoirs on their toothbrush, and it can certainly be passed among siblings or other toothbrushes stored in the same area.” To keep candida from infecting multiple toothbrushes, make sure that the instruments are stored upright and away from each other.


One of the worst things you have on your toothbrush is moisture because it encourages bacteria to grow. “There’s a precipitous drop in bacteria [on toothbrushes] after about 24 hours, and that’s really because the toothbrush dries out.” ... “So, if you can, having two toothbrushes is probably advantageous.” If you’re using a toothbrush just once every 24 hours, it will stay nice and dry, and bacterial loads will be low.

Another thing you shouldn’t do: Cover your toothbrush. “Even though it’s tempting because of the fecal matter from the toilet, covering toothbrushes or putting them in your medicine cabinet does not allow them to dry out.” ... “Bacterial counts on those toothbrushes are considerably higher than on toothbrushes that are stored upright, separate, and allowed to dry completely.”


Up to 70 percent of adults in the United States have gingivitis, and about 47 percent of people over the age of 30 have destructive gum disease. “That means they have ulcerations or microscopic breaks in the tissue underneath the gum lines where they can’t see, which allows blood to get on the toothbrush.” ... “It also allows a pathway for bacteria to get into the bloodstream. In patients with inflammation, bacteria in your bloodstream spike after things that would irritate those inflammations—including mastication, eating, toothbrushing, even a visit to your dentist to have a cleaning.” That’s how dental and oral bacteria end up in plaques that are associated with heart disease.”

“The amount of bacteria in the bloodstream is actually proportional to how much inflammation and dental disease is present in the mouth.” ... “Patients who are receiving regular dental care—that includes dental cleaning and exams—have improved levels of gingival inflammation, less blood in their saliva, and less blood on their toothbrush. So go see your dentist!”

ColgateMental FlossMouth Healthy.orgQuoraWikipedia How To Brush Your Teeth with an Electric Toothbrush (YouTube) video

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang - U.S. Navy

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang

Shower Party: An involuntary scrub-down of a submarine crew member who hasn't been practicing good hygiene.

Shower Tech: Sonar Technician (Submariner)

Shutterbug: A Photographer's Mate (PH).

Sick in Quarters (SIQ): When a sailor is too ill or incapacitated to perform his duties, he is thus required to report to his rack (quarters), where he will remain until healthy again. For personnel aboard ship, this means to remain in bed, while onshore this may simply mean to stay home for the day. Only qualified medical personnel can recommend SIQ, and only the command can authorize it.

Sierra Hotel: Phonetic letters for SH, which stands for “Shit Hot”. Refers to anything impressive or greatly exceeding what is required.

Sig (Navy Nukes): A signature on a qualification card. There are many, many “qual cards” in the Sub Service, especially if you're a Nuke. (see "Nuke" above).

Sig: Naval Aviation Squadron (NAS) Sigonella, Sicily.

Sigs: A Signalman (SM); a former rating, now merged with Quartermaster. May also refer to the Signal Bridge on the intercom.

Sims: Simulators.

Single-Digit Midget: Sailor with less that ten days left before their EAOS (End of Active Obligated Service).

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

VFA-106 - “Gladiators”
Naval Air Station Oceana, Virginia Beach, Virginia, U.S. - Established April 27, 1984

Where Did That Saying Come From

Where Did That Saying Come From?

Where Did That Saying Come From? “Hair of the dog that bit you”

Hair of the dog that bit you:”  Meaning: A small measure of drink, intended to cure a hangover.

Origin: The fuller version of this phrase, that is, 'the hair of the dog that bit me', gives a clue to the source of the name of this supposed hangover cure. That derivation is from the medieval belief that, when someone was bitten by a rabid dog, a cure could be made by applying the same dog's hair to the infected wound. How many people managed to get bitten again when trying to approach the aforesaid dog to acquire the hair to achieve this completely useless remedy isn't known. The knowledge of the derivation should at least put paid to the frequent 'hare of the dog' misspelling.

With most metaphorical phrases that have a literal origin, for example toe the line and on the warpath, the later figurative use doesn't become popular until the literal use has fallen out of use. 'The hair of the dog' is unusual in that the figurative version is recorded before any known examples of the literal meaning.

John Heywood, in his early text, A dialogue conteinyng the nomber in effect of all the prouerbes in the Englishe tongue, 1546, uses the phrase with a clear reference to drinking:

“I pray thee let me and my fellow have

A hair of the dog that bit us last night -

And bitten were we both to the brain aright.

We saw each other drunk in the good ale glass.”

Another useful text, Randle Cotgrave's A dictionarie of the French and English tongues, 1611, also records the 'drinking' version of the expression:

“Our Ale-knights [habitual drinkers] often use this phrase, and say, Give us a haire of the dog that last bit us.”

It isn't until the 18th century that the literal use of dogs' hair to cure bite wounds is recorded in print. Robert James alludes to the method in A Treatise on Canine Madness, 1760:

“The hair of the dog that gave the wound is advised as an application to the part injured.”

In fact, James is rather skeptical about the treatment, preferring another commonly believed but equally unpromising remedy - the application of the ashes of river crabs.:

Whilst the hair of the dog that bit us is now dismissed as an effective rabies treatment, the taking of additional alcohol to cure a hangover has some scientific basis. The symptoms of hangover are partly induced by a withdrawal from alcohol poisoning. A small measure of alcohol may be some temporary relief, even if in the longer term it makes the hangover worse.

Phrases.org UK

Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Science & Technology

AI system trained to respond like a dogGenetic changes underpin diverse structures in group of toxins produced by fungiViruses can evolve in parallel in related speciesThe background hum of space could reveal hidden black holesTeam creates detailed map of genetic evolution of Saccharomyces cerevisiaeScientists unlock path to use cell's own nanoparticles as disease biomarkersAre viruses the new frontier for astrobiology?

Phys.org / MedicalXpress / TechXplore

The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

Is Dark Matter Made Up of Mini Black Holes from the Big Bang?

Is Dark Matter Made Up of Mini Black Holes from the Big Bang?

Dark matter, the mysterious extra mass in the universe that emits no light yet exerts a gravitational pull, may actually be made up of primordial black holes that originated with the Big Bang.

And these mini black holes can thank the Higgs boson for their birth —-at least according to a new theory.

This theory, described March 23 in the journal Physical Review Letters, posits that these primeval black holes were created from instabilities in the field that gives rise to the Higgs boson, the mysterious “God” particle discovered at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).

“"In principle, the explanation may count for all the dark matter”, in the form of primordial black holes, said study co-author Antonio Riotto, a physicist at the University of Geneva, in Switzerland.

However, not everyone is convinced, with some physicists saying that these primordial black holes are unlikely to explain all the dark matter found in the universe.

Mini black holes

The Higgs boson arises as a ripple in the so-called Higgs field, which permeates the universe and gives particles their mass. When the Higgs boson was discovered, it was found to be about 126 times heavier than the proton, lighter than many physicists expected. After doing some calculations, physicists realized this mass implied the Higgs field might not be in its most stable state. [Infographic: Will the Real Higgs Please Stand Up?]

According to the new study, these fluctuations made small pockets of space where the density of mass was so high it collapsed into a black hole.

These small mini black holes would have masses around 22 trillion pounds (10 trillion kilograms) — or about the mass of Mount Everest.

Controversial idea

The idea that black holes existing today could make up all of the dark matter in the universe is relatively controversial. Physicists have ruled out black holes with low mass, because not enough of them have been detected to explain all the extra mass in the universe. However, physicists haven't ruled out medium-sized black holes. In February 2016, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (LIGO) announced it had detected two merging black holes that were 29 and 36 times as massive as our sun. Primordial black holes in that mass range have not been ruled out, making some researchers hopeful.

Primordial black holes are still hypothetical, until we detect black holes with masses below that of our sun, and the Higgs field explanation of their creation proposed by these researchers can’t be proven without them.

Not everyone believes, as these researchers do, that primordial black holes and dark matter could be one and the same.

“It’s a nutty idea, but every idea of what dark matter might be is a nutty idea.”

Live Science (04/06/2018) video

© CEASAR CHOPPY by cartoonist Marty Gavin - archives Ceasar Choppy's Navy! “© CEASAR CHOPPY” by Marty Gavin


“‘Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” - Crosby, Stills & Nash 1969

“‘Suite’: Judy Blue Eyes” - Crosby, Stills & Nash
Album: Crosby, Stills & Nash
Released 1969 video

Stephen Stills wrote this about his then-girlfriend, folk singer Judy Collins. In their 1991 boxed set, Stills said: “It started out as a long narrative poem about my relationship with Judy Collins. It poured out of me over many months and filled several notebooks. I had a hell of a time getting the music to fit. I was left with all these pieces of song and I said, 'Let's sing them together and call it a suite,' because they were all about the same thing and they led up to the same point.”

This runs 7:22. The single is three minutes shorter then the album version. Many FM radio stations played the album cut.

The last verse is in Spanish and is about Cuba. It was sung in Spanish because Stephen Stills didn't want it easily understood since it had little to do with the theme of the song. Stills put that part in simply because the song had gone on forever and he didn't want it to just lay there at the end.

Here's the translation: “How nice it will (or would) be to take you to Cuba The queen of the Caribbean Sea I only want to visit you there And how sad that I can't, damn!”

The title is a play on words. “Suite” is a reference to a part of a classical composition, but it can also be interpreted as “Sweet”.

This wasn't their first single, or even their biggest, but certainly one of Crosby, Stills & Nash's most well-known songs. It established the harmony style that would be the group's trademark for years to come.

This opened Crosby, Stills and Nash's set at Woodstock in 1969. The event ran long, so they didn't go on stage until 3am the third night (The Who set a precedent by going on at 3am the night before). They played 16 songs in their set, the first 9 acoustic and the last 7 electric. Those who left to get to work Monday morning not only missed Crosby, Stills and Nash, but didn't see Jimi Hendrix close out the festival.

Crosby, Stills and Nash played this at Live Aid in 1985. Organized by Bob Geldof, Live Aid was a benefit for famine relief in Africa. Crosby, Stills and Nash also played “Teach Your Childrenvideo and “Southern Crossvideo.

Graham Nash and Stephen Stills spoke to Rolling Stone magazine about this song: “It was the beginnings of three different songs that suddenly fell together as one. Actually on the demo the middle part is not exactly how they would play. Half of it is it just falls off in its own - but we actually split it in half, and they got started singing and boom, there it went. Once it all was there then we just kept adding parts. When I wrote it I used cardboard shirt-blocking, you know those things from the cleaner's - 'cause they were harder to lose than pieces of paper and they didn't crumple up. I could line them up on music stands and they'd stand up.”

Nash revealed to Rolling Stone that of the CS&N trio, Stills was the only to play on this song. All three contributed vocals.

Judy Collins recalled to Mojo magazine the effect this song had on her after Stills played it in her hotel room. She said: “He sang me Suite Judy Blue Eyes and, you know, broken hearts are a very good inspiration - and I just caved in and I suppose I made promises I couldn't keep. We both had personal struggles.” Collins' battle was with alcohol.

Crosby, Stills & Nash official site / Billboard / All Music / Song Facts / Ultimate Classic Rock / Crosby, Stills & Nash

Image: “Crosby, Stills & Nash (album)” by Crosby, Stills & Nash



JRR Tolkein; (John Ronald Reuel Tolkein) was a British writer, in 1954, who created The Lord of the Rings.

● David is a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture created in marble between 1501 and 1504 by Michelangelo. David 17.0 ft marble statue of a standing male nude.

● On September 9, 1983, Washington, D.C. unsuccessfully petitioned the U.S. Congress to become the 51st State of the United States.


A Test for People Who Know Everything

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL IN UNIFORM” ($200):

Bob Feller left the Cleveland Indians for the Navy on December 9, 1941, two days after hearing this news on his way to a contract meeting.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Britannica Encyclopedia

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL IN UNIFORM” ($600):

Seen here as Navy bluejackets are Pee Wee Reese & Phil Rizzuto, two greats at this position.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer MLB

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL IN UNIFORM” ($1,000):

“During off-seasons in the late '50s and early '60s, this Hall of Famer transformed from a Pirate into a Marine.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Marines.TogetherWeServed

Answer to Last Week's Test

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “YE OLDE JOB FAIRE” ($200):

“In the old days of law enforcement, people might say, 'There's a new shrieve in town' instead of this job.”

● Answer: Sheriff. Quora

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “A REAL BUSY BODY” ($400):

“The 'big 3' exercises of powerlifting are the squat, the deadlift & this 'press'.”

● Answer: Bench Press. Bodybuilding

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “AMERICA SINCE 1900” ($1,000):

“This 1920s scandal erupted when Secretary of the Interior Albert Fall leased govt. oil fields to private individuals”

● Answer: Teapot Dome. Britannica Encyclopedia

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

“Prayers to God for Help”

A man caught in a flood prayed to God for help.

While he was on his knees praying, a police officer came to the door and offered to evacuate him, but he said, “No thanks, Officer, I’ll stay here, God will deliver me” and resumed his prayers.

Then a person in a rowboat came by as the waters were rising, and the man said, “No thanks, I’ll stay here, God will deliver me” and continued praying to God for help.

The waters continued to rise and the man had to climb onto his roof.

At last a helicopter came with a ladder and the pilot told him to climb aboard. He again refused, all the while sitting on the roof and praying to God.

Finally the waters covered him and he drowned.

After he got to heaven he told God how disappointed he was that God didn’t answer his prayers.

God said, “What do you mean I didn’t answer? I sent a police officer, a rowboat and a helicopter; what else did you want?”

Joke of the Day

“The Preacher and the Ghost”

There was a new preacher who wanted to rent a house in the country. The only house available was rumored to be haunted. Since the preacher didn’t believe in such things, he rented it.

It wasn’t long before the ghost made its appearance. The preacher told his friends about the ghost, but they didn’t believe him. They told him the only way they would believe was if he would take a picture of the ghost.

The preacher went home and called for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher explained the situation and asked the ghost if it would mind having its picture taken. The ghost agreed.

When the picture was developed, the ghost wasn’t visible. Feeling very disappointed, the preacher called again for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher showed it the picture and wanted to know why the ghost wasn’t in it.

The ghost thought a minute and replied, “Well, I guess the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.”

Joke of the Day

“Forest Gump goes to Heaven”

At the closed pearly gates, Forest Gump is met by St.Peter, himself, who said “ Well Forest, it is certainly good to see you. Heaven is filling up , and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short but you have to pass it before you can get into heaven.”

“It is good to be here, St.Peter” replied Forest. “But nobody told me about an entrance exam. I hope that it will not be too hard. Life was a big enough test for me.”

St.Peter continued, “No. I know Forest, But the test is only three questions. First, what two days of the week begin with the letter T. Second, how many seconds are there in a year. Third What is God’s first name?”

Forest leaves to think the questions over. Returning the next day, St.Peter waves him up and says “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forest replied “Well, the first - which two days in the week begin with the letter T. Shucks that s easy Today and Tomorrow.”

St.Peter’s eyes opened wide as he exclaimed “That was not what I am thinking, but you have a point, and I did not specify, so I will give you credit for the first answer. How about the second question?”

“How many seconds in a year. That’s harder” replied Forest.

“but I thunk and thunk about it, and I guess the only answer is twelve”

Astounded St.Peter said “Twelve Forest. how in heaven’s name did you come you with twelve seconds in a year ?”

Forest replied “Shucks. There’s got to be twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…”

St.Peter said “Forest hold it, I see where you are going with this, and I see your point. though that was not quite what I had in mind But I will have to give you credit for that one too. Now let us go on to the final question. “Now Can you tell me God’s first name ?”

“Sure.” Replied Forest “It’s Andy”

“Andy” exclaimed an exasperated St.Peter. “Oh I understand how you came up with the answers to my first two questions. But how in the world did you come up with the name Andy, as God’s first name ?”

“Shucks. that was the easiest one of all” Forest replied, “I learned it from the song.”

”Andy walks with me,

Andy talks with me

Andy tells me I am his own”

So St Peter opened the pearly gates and said, “Come on in Forest”