Old Sailors' Almanac

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

Week 50, 2018

Previous Week   December 10, 2018 - December 16, 2018  Next Week

Apollo program: Eugene Cernan is the last person to walk on the moon on December 14, 1972

Apollo program: Eugene Cernan is the last person to walk on the moon on December 14, 1972

Apollo program: Eugene Cernan is the last person to walk on the moon The huge, 363-feet tall Apollo 17 (Spacecraft 114/Lunar Module 12/Saturn 512) space vehicle is launched from Pad A., Launch Complex 39, Kennedy Space Center (KSC), Florida, at 12:33 a.m. (EST), Dec. 7, 1972.

Apollo 17, the final lunar landing mission in NASA's Apollo program, was the first nighttime liftoff of the Saturn V launch vehicle. Aboard the Apollo 17 spacecraft were astronaut Eugene A. Cernan, commander; astronaut Ronald E. Evans, command module pilot; and scientist-astronaut Harrison H. Schmitt, lunar module pilot. Flame from the five F-1 engines of the Apollo/Saturn first (S-1C) stage illuminates the nighttime scene. A two-hour and 40-minute hold delayed the Apollo program: Eugene Cernan is the last person to walk on the mooning.

The Apollo lunar-landing program ends on December 19, 1972, when the last three astronauts to travel to the moon splash down safely in the Pacific Ocean. Apollo 17 had lifted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida, 10 days before.

Mission Highlights

• Only one of the four planned midcourse corrections was required during translunar coast. A midcourse correction made at 5:03 p.m. Dec. 8, was a 1.6 second service propulsion system burn resulting in a 10>:5 feet/second velocity change.

• Lunar orbit insertion was accomplished at 7:47:23 p.m. Dec. 10, placing the spacecraft into a lunar orbit of 170 by 52.6 nautical miles. Approximately four hours, 20 minutes later, the orbit was reduced to 59 by 15 nautical miles. The spacecraft remained in this low orbit for more than 18 hours, during which time the CSM/LM undocking and separation were performed.

• The CSM circularization maneuver was performed at 6:50:29 p.m. Dec. 11, which placed the CSM into an orbit of 70.3 by 54.3 nautical miles. At 2:35 p.m. Dec. 11, the commander and lunar module pilot entered the LM to prepare for descent to the lunar surface. At 6:55:42 p.m. Dec. 11, the LM was placed into an orbit with a perilune altitude of 6.2 nautical miles. Approximately 47 minutes later, the powered descent to the lunar surface began. Landing occurred at 7:54:57 p.m. Dec. 11, at lunar latitude 20 degrees, 10 minutes north, and longitude 30 degrees 46 minutes east. Apollo 17 was the last lunar landing mission. Three extravehicular activities, or EVAs, lasted a total of 22 hours, four minutes on the lunar surface.

• EVA No. 1 began at 11:54:49 p.m. Dec. 11, with Eugene Cernan egressing at 12:01 a.m. Dec. 12. The first EVA was seven hours, 12 minutes long and was completed at 7:06:42 a.m. Dec. 12.

• The second EVA began at 11:28:06 p.m. Dec. 12, and lasted seven hours, 37 minutes, ending at at 7:05:02 a.m. Dec. 13.

• The final EVA began at 10:25:48 p.m. Dec. 13, and ended at 5:40:56 a.m. Dec. 14.

The LM ascent stage lifted off the moon at 10:54:37 p.m. Dec. 14. After a vernier adjustment maneuver, the ascent stage was inserted into a 48.5 by 9.4 nautical mile orbit. The LM terminal phase initiation burn was made at 11:48:58 p.m. Dec. 14. This 3.2 second maneuver raised the ascent stage orbit to 64.7 by 48.5 nautical miles. The CSM and LM docked at 1:10:15 a.m.

The LM ascent stage was jettisoned at 4:51:31 a.m. Dec. 15. Deorbit firing of the ascent stage was initiated at 6:31:14 a.m. Dec. 15, and lunar impact occurred 19 minutes, seven seconds later approximately 0.7 nautical miles from the planned target at latitude 19 degrees, 56 minutes north, and longitude 30 degrees, 32 minutes east. The ascent stage impact was recorded by the four Apollo 17 geophones, and by each ALSEP at Apollos 12, 14, 15 and 16 landing sites.

Ronald Evans performed a transearth EVA at 8:27:40 p.m. Dec. 17, that lasted one hour, six minutes, during which time he retrieved the lunar sounder film, as well as the panoramic and mapping camera film cassettes.

Apollo 17 hosted the first scientist-astronaut to land on moon: Harrison Schmitt. The sixth automated research station was set up. The lunar rover vehicle traversed a total of 30.5 kilometers. Lunar surface-stay time was 75 hours, and lunar orbit time 17 hours. Astronauts gathered 110.4 kilograms, or 243 pounds, of material.

History Channel / Apollo 17 - Eugene A. Cernan, Commander NASA / Wikipedia / Encyclopedia Britannica / Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.edu / Space.com / Apollo program: Eugene Cernan is the last person to walk on the moon on December 14, 1972 (YouTube)video


George Washington dies on December 14, 1799

George Washington dies on December 14, 1799

George Washington dies: George Washington, the American revolutionary leader and first president of the United States, dies of acute laryngitis at his estate in Mount Vernon, Virginia. He was 67 years old.

George Washington was born in 1732 to a farm family in Westmoreland County, Virginia. His first direct military experience came as a lieutenant colonel in the Virginia colonial militia in 1754, when he led a small expedition against the French in the Ohio River valley on behalf of the governor of Virginia. Two years later, Washington took command of the defenses of the western Virginian frontier during the French and Indian War. After the war’s fighting moved elsewhere, he resigned from his military post, returned to a planter’s life, and took a seat in Virginia’s House of Burgesses.

During the next two decades, Washington openly opposed the escalating British taxation and repression of the American colonies. In 1774, he represented Virginia at the Continental Congress. After the American Revolution erupted in 1775, Washington was nominated to be commander in chief of the newly established Continental Army. Some in the Continental Congress opposed his appointment, thinking other candidates were better equipped for the post, but he was ultimately chosen because as a Virginian his leadership helped bind the Southern colonies more closely to the rebellion in New England.

With his inexperienced and poorly equipped army of civilian soldiers, General Washington led an effective war of harassment against British forces in America while encouraging the intervention of the French into the conflict on behalf of the colonists. On October 19, 1781, with the surrender of British General Charles Lord Cornwallis’ massive British army at Yorktown, Virginia, General Washington had defeated one of the most powerful nations on earth.

After the war, the victorious general retired to his estate at Mount Vernon, but in 1787 he heeded his nation’s call and returned to politics to preside over the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The drafters created the office of president with him in mind, and in February 1789 Washington was unanimously elected the first president of the United States.

As president, Washington sought to unite the nation and protect the interests of the new republic at home and abroad. Of his presidency, he said, “I walk on untrodden ground. There is scarcely any part of my conduct which may not hereafter be drawn in precedent.” He successfully implemented executive authority, making good use of brilliant politicians such as Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson in his cabinet, and quieted fears of presidential tyranny. In 1792, he was unanimously reelected but four years later refused a third term.

In 1797, he finally began a long-awaited retirement at his estate in Virginia. He died two years later. His friend Henry Lee provided a famous eulogy for the father of the United States: “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

History Channel / Wikipedia / Encyclopedia Britannica / Mount Vernon.org / Biography / George Washington’s death (YouTube)video


Understanding Military Terminology: Scout of Many Trails (Sea Scout and Boy Scout look at globe with old sailor) ~ Norman Rockwell

Understanding Military Terminology - Modified combined obstacle overlay

(DOD) A joint intelligence preparation of the operational environment product used to portray the militarily significant aspects of the operational environment, such as obstacles restricting military movement, key geography, and military objectives. Also called MCOO. See also joint intelligence preparation of the operational environment.

Joint Publications (JP 2-01.3) Joint and National Intelligence Support to Military Operations


“Old Salt’s Corner”

The Old Salt’s Corner

“SEA FEVER”

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,

And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,

And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide.

Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;

And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,

And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,

To the gull's way and the whale's way, where the wind's like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,

And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

~ John Masefield


“I’m Just Sayin’”

“I’m Just Sayin”

“Those who deny freedom to others

deserve it not for themselves.”

~ Abraham Lincoln


“Thought for the Day”

“Thought for the Day”

“When the people fear the government

there is tyranny,

when the government fears the people,

there is liberty.”

~ Thomas Jefferson


“What I Have Learned”

“What I Learned”

“When your feet slip

you can always recover your balance,

but when your tongue slips

you can never recover your words.”

~ Anonymous


Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Snack-Chasing Bear Cub Rescued After Getting Into A Bucketful Of Trouble

Snack-Chasing Bear Cub Rescued After Getting Into A Bucketful Of Trouble

Wildlife workers free “Buckethead” from a plastic junk-food jug.

Three days after getting his head stuck in a plastic snack jar, “Buckethead” the black bear cub is now free to stop and smell the roses - or at least the cheese puffs - once more.

Rangers from the Maryland Department of Natural Resources came to the 100-pound bear’s rescue on Saturday:

Thankfully, “Buckethead” - who was tranquilized during the removal - was reunited with his family soon after.

Snack-Chasing Bear Cub Rescued After Getting Into A Bucketful Of Trouble

While rescuers were unsure what the jar contained, “it smelled good”.

“We think it was one that had pretzels or cheese balls in it, by the shape anyway”, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources- Wildlife & Heritage Service wrote on Facebook.

CBC Toronto (10/15/2018) video


What Are the Northern Lights?

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: What Are the Northern Lights?

Before science was able to get a read on what exactly was happening in the night sky, ancient tribes had their own theories for what caused the jaw-dropping light show. Many early beliefs had roots in religion, such as that the light was a pathway souls traveled to reach heaven (Eskimo tribes) or that the light was an eternal battle of dead warriors (Middle-Age Europe). Early researchers were a bit more reasonable in their approximations, and most surrounded the idea of the reflection of sunlight off the ice caps. In 1619, Galileo Galilei named the lights the aurora borealis after Aurora, the Roman goddess of morning, after concluding they were a product of sunlight reflecting from the atmosphere.

Today, scientists have come to the general agreement that the lights are caused by the collision of electrically charged solar particles and atoms from our atmosphere. The energy from the collisions is released as light, and the reason it happens around the poles is because that's where the Earth’s magnetic field is the strongest. In 2008, a team at UCLA concluded that “when two magnetic field lines come close together due to the storage of energy from the sun, a critical limit is reached and the magnetic field lines reconnect, causing magnetic energy to be transformed into kinetic energy and heat. Energy is released, and the plasma is accelerated, producing accelerated electrons.”

“Our data show clearly and for the first time that magnetic reconnection is the trigger”, said Vassilis Angelopoulos, a UCLA professor of Earth and Space Sciences. “Reconnection results in a slingshot acceleration of waves and plasma along magnetic field lines, lighting up the aurora underneath even before the near-Earth space has had a chance to respond. We are providing the evidence that this is happening.”

The best time to see the Northern Lights is during the winter, due to the Earth’s position in relation to the sun (shorter days means darker night skies). And by the way, it’s not just the North Pole that puts on a show - there are Southern Lights, too. There are also aurora borealis on other planets - including Mars - so rest assured that future generations born “abroad” will not miss out on this spectacular feat of nature.

Traditionally, the best places to catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights are in Iceland, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Greenland, northern Canada, and Alaska. Maybe you'll get lucky this week and sneak a peek from your very own window. See Aurorasaurus for regular updates on where they are showing.

Earth Sky.orgLibrary of CongressMentalflossNOAANorthern Lights Centre CanadaQuaraSpace.comWikipediaWhat Are the Northern Lights (YouTube Search) video


NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang - U.S. Navy

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang

B.B. Stacker: Crew that handles and maintains the air launched weapons, Aviation Ordnancemen (Red shirts).

BCG's: Birth Control Glasses: Standard Navy-issue corrective eyewear for non-flight crew and non-flight deck personnel. So named because they are so thick and hideous that one is guaranteed never to have sex while one is wearing them. Term has become obsolete due to more normal looking frame choices now offered (outside of enlisted recruit training, at least). (Also known as CGL's - Can't Get Laids.)

B.D.N.W.W.: Broke Dick No Worky-worky. See Broke Dick.

Beer Day: On many navy ships, even in the present day, all hands are given 2 beers if they are underway without a port call for a given period of time - generally 45 days. Both beers are opened when they are given to the crewmember to prevent them from being hoarded.

Beans, bullets, and black oil: Supplies of all sorts needed by a warship.

Bells:

1. Naval method of indicating the time of day aboard ship, usually over the 1MC. One bell corresponds to 30 minutes past the hour. Bells will only be rung as a single strike, or a closely spaced double strike, with a maximum of eight bells (4 sets of 2). Bells repeat themselves every 4 hours. For example 2 sets of 2 bells, followed by a single bell (5 total) could be 0230, 0630, 1030, 1430, 1830, or 2230.

2. Method of requesting speed changes from the Engine Room using the Engine Order Telegraph (EOT), normally from the Bridge. (example: 1/3, 2/3, Full, Standard, Flank, B1/3, B2/3, BI, BEM).


Just for MARINES - The Few. The Proud.

Just for you MARINE

Beans, Bullets, and Band-Aids: Meant to imply the basic supplies that military logisticians must provide for: rations, ammunition, medical care.

Beer Garden: Social area permitting the consumption of alcohol etc.; may contain barbecue or picnic facilities.


Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Patrol Squadron Sixteen (VP-16) - nicknamed the “War Eagles”

United States Navy - Naval Air Station, Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Jacksonville, Florida - Established May, 1 1946.


Where Did That Saying Come From

Where Did That Saying Come From?

Where Did That Saying Come From? “Gee Whiz!”

Gee Whiz!:”  Meaning: An interjection or exclamation of surprise.

History: This little term derived in the USA as a euphemistic shorthand for Jesus; in other words it is a minced oath. That original meaning is largely forgotten by those who use it now, who are in any account fewer than before, as it is now sounds rather old-fashioned. The further shortening of simple gee is still widely used in the USA, although neither version was ever common elsewhere.

The first record of it appearing in print is from Cody and Arlington's Life on the Border, 1876:

“Gee-wees!...I'll bet one hundred dollars on that hand!”

The currently accepted spelling was used soon afterwards; for example, this piece of doggerel from the Pennsylvania newspaper The Warren Ledger, 1883:

“When younger days have flown

And we are older grown,

We sit and muse -

We've got the blues.

Morning and night we fret,

And, cold or dry or wet.

In petulance pout -

We've got the gout.

We have accomplished naught,

Our fight was poorly fought -

Gee whiz,

he rheumatiz.”

Phrases.org UK


Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Sculpting bacteria into extreme shapes reveals the rugged nature of cell divisionProducing defectless metal crystals of unprecedented sizeStudy shows gender preferences differ more in countries that are more affluent and gender equalHow clutch molecules enable neuron migrationAdvanced sequencing technology provides new insights into human mitochondrial diseasesScientists solve 3-D structure of cystic fibrosis protein in active, inactive states

Phys.org / MedicalXpress / TechXplore


The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

Extraterrestrial Life Could Be Purple

Extraterrestrial Life Could Be Purple

Alien life might be purple.

That's the conclusion of a new research paper that suggests that the first life on Earth might have had a lavender hue. In the International Journal of Astrobiology, microbiologist Shiladitya DasSarma of the University of Maryland School of Medicine and postdoctoral researcher Edward Schwieterman at the University of California, Riverside, argue that before green plants started harnessing the power of the sun for energy, tiny purple organisms figured out a way to do the same.

Alien life could be thriving in the same way, DasSarma said.

“Astronomers have discovered thousands of new extrasolar planets recently and are developing the capacity to see surface biosignatures” in the light reflected from these planets, he told Live Science. There are already ways to detect green life from space, he said, but scientists might need to start looking for purple, too. [" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow">Seven Wild Theories on the Origin of Life]

Extraterrestrial Life Could Be Purple

Purple Earth

The idea that the early Earth was purple is not new, DasSarma and his colleagues advanced the theory in 2007. The thinking goes like this: Plants and photosynthesizing algae use chlorophyll to absorb energy from the sun, but they don't absorb green light. That's odd, because green light is energy-rich. Perhaps, DasSarma and his colleagues reasoned, something else was already using that part of the spectrum when chlorophyll photosynthesizers evolved.

That "something else" would be simple organisms that captured solar energy with a molecule called retinal. Retinal pigments absorb green light best. They're not as efficient as chlorophylls in capturing solar energy, but they are simpler, the researchers wrote in their new paper published October 11th.

Retinal light-harvesting is still widespread today among bacteria and the single-celled organisms called Archaea. These purple organisms have been discovered everywhere from the oceans to the Antarctic Dry Valley to the surfaces of leaves, Schwieterman told Live Science. Retinal pigments are also found in the visual system of more complex animals. The appearance of the pigments across many living organisms hints that they may have evolved very early on, in ancestors common to many branches of the tree of life, the researchers wrote. There is even some evidence that modern purple-pigmented salt-loving organisms called halophiles might be related to some of the earliest life on Earth, which thrived around methane vents in the ocean, Schwieterman said.

Extraterrestrial Life Could Be Purple

Purple aliens

Regardless of whether the first life on Earth was purple, it's clear that lavender life suits some organisms just fine, Schwieterman and DasSarma argue in their new paper. That means that alien life could be using the same strategy. And if alien life is using retinal pigments to capture energy, astrobiologists will find them only by looking for particular light signatures, they wrote.

Chlorophyll, Schwieterman said, absorbs mostly red and blue light. But the spectrum reflected from a plant-covered planet displays what astrobiologists call a “vegetation red edge”. This “red edge” is a sudden change in the reflection of light at the near-infrared part of the spectrum, where plants suddenly stop absorbing red wavelengths and start reflecting them away.

Retinal-based photosynthesizers, on the other hand, have a “green edge”, Schwieterman said. They absorb light up to the green portion of the spectrum, and then start reflecting longer wavelengths away.

Astrobiologists have long been intrigued by the possibility of detecting extraterrestrial life by detecting the “red edge”, Schwieterman said, but they may need to consider searching for the "green edge," too.

“If these organisms were present in sufficient densities on an exoplanet, those reflection properties would be imprinted on that planet's reflected light spectrum”, he said.

Live Science (10/21/2018) video


© CEASAR CHOPPY by cartoonist Marty Gavin - archives Ceasar Choppy's Navy! “© CEASAR CHOPPY” by Marty Gavin

SONG FACTS

&ldquoGimme Shelter” - The Rolling Stones 1969

“Gimme Shelter” - The Rolling Stones
Album: Let It Bleed
Released 1969 video

This is about the political and social unrest at the time. There was the war in Vietnam, race riots, and Charles Manson. Mick Jagger sings of needing shelter from this “Storm”.

Keith Richards wrote most of this song. He strummed the opening on an electric-acoustic guitar modeled after a Chuck Berry favorite.

Merry Clayton is the female vocalist. She is a gospel singer who did backup vocals for a number of artists, including Ray Charles. She had a regular role on the '80s TV show Cagney and Lacey, and played a maid in the movie Maid To Order.

Clayton is featured in the 2013 film 20 Feet from Stardom, where she talks about her appearance on this song. The Stones were recording late at night in Los Angeles when they decided to use a female vocalist to sing with Jagger on the track. Clayton, who was pregnant at the time, got the call and was retrieved for the session. She showed up with curlers in her hair wearing silk pajamas, and Jagger explained to her that she's be singing the line, “Rape, murder, it's just a shot away.”

She did a take of her line, then decided to “blow them out of this room” on the next take. This time, she delivered a chilling vocal an octave higher, her voice cracking on “murder”. This can be heard at about the 3:04 mark, and you can hear an impressed Mick Jagger in the background saying “Whoo!”

The Rolling Stones didn't release this song as a single, so it never charted. Merry Clayton, who sang backup on the track, recorded her own version of the song which was released as a single, making #73 U.S. in the summer of 1970.

Jagger: “That song was written during the Vietnam War and so it's very much about the awareness that war is always present; it was very present in life at that point. Mary Clayton who did the backing vocals, was a background singer who was known to one of the producers. Suddenly, we wanted someone to sing in the middle of the night. And she was around. She came with her curlers in, straight from bed, and had to sing this really odd lyric. For her it was a little odd - for anyone, in the middle of the night, to sing this one verse I would have been odd. She was great.”

The Stones recorded this using old, worn out Triumph amplifiers to get a distinctive sound.

Keith Richards stated in his memoir Life (2010): “I wrote 'Gimmie Shelter' on a stormy day, sitting in Robert Fraser's apartment in Mount Street. Anita (Pallenberg) was shooting Performance at the time, not far away... It was just a terrible f--king day and it was storming out there. I was sitting there in Mount Street and there was this incredible storm over London, so I got into that mode, just looking out of Robert's window and looking at all these people with their umbrellas being blown out of their grasp and running like hell. And the idea came to me... My thought was storms on other people's minds, not mine. It just happened to hit the moment.”

The Rolling Stones, official website / Billboard / All Music / Song Facts / Ultimate Classic Rock / The Rolling Stones

Image: “Let It Bleed (album)” by The Rolling Stones


Trivia

Trivia

● 80% of the children's toys and playthings sold in the U.S.A. are produced where?

China.

●Famous riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?

A Ton.

● What is the name of the organic molecule that carries oxygen in the blood, and gives blood its red color?

Hemoglobin.

● The animal with the largest eye, up to 16 inches in diameter, lives in water. What is it?

Giant Squid.


Jeopardy

A Test for People Who Know Everything

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE” ($200):

“Little Susie loves science, so the Omano OM117L was a great choice; it's 2 of these in one--dissecting & compound.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Microscope.com

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE” ($600):

“Like Wile E. Coyote, I got this company's doom weapon crate, including kukri, mace & tomahawk.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer YouTube video

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE” ($1,000):

“'Only one in every 10,000 casks' gets to become a Blue Label bottle of this Scotch, & you put one under the tree for me.”/p>

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Reserve Bar


Answer to Last Week's Test

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “DECEMBER HOLIDAYS” ($200):

“At the winter solstice, Wiccans celebrate just this, with no 'tide' after it.”

● Answer: Yule. Wikipedia

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “DECEMBER HOLIDAYS” ($400):

“Hanukkah story hero Judah was known by this name that's an acronym of the Hebrew for 'Who is like you, O God?'.”

● Answer: Maccabi or Maccabee. Jews Down Under

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “DECEMBER HOLIDAYS” ($1,000):

“In Massachusetts, especially Plymouth, December 22 is Forefathers' Day, celebrated by consuming this corn-&-beans dish.”/p>

● Answer: Succotash. Epicurious


Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

“Eli's Dirty Jokes - Recovery Roses”

“Eli's Dirty Jokes - Recovery Roses”

“Boudreaux and Thibodeaux”

“The 'Ballerina'”

Joke of the Day

“Boudreaux and Thibodeaux”

“The 'Ballerina'”

An extremely large, muscular woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar.

She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit and pointed to all the men sitting at the bar and asked, “Which of you men will buy a lady a drink?”

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.

At the end of the bar, was Boudreaux, a skinny little Cajun, who was as usual, VERY drunk. Boudreaux slammed his hand on the bar and said, “Give dat Ballerina a drink!”

Thibodeaux, the bartender, a close friend of Boudreaux's, poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned again to the patrons and pointed around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit, and asked, “Which of you men will buy a lady a drink?”

Once again, Boudreaux slapped his hand down on the bar and said, “Give dat Ballerina anudder drink!”

Thibodeaux, finally approached Boudreaux and said, “Boudreaux mah fren', I know it ain't none of my business of course if you want to buy dat lady a drink, but how come you keep callin' her a Ballerina?”

Boudreaux replied, “Thibodeaux . . . to me, any woman who can lift her leg dat high gots to be a Ballerina!”