Old Sailors' Almanac

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY

Week 09, 2018

Previous Week   February 26, 2018 - March 04, 2018  Next Week

Texas declares independence on March 02, 1836

Texas declares independence on March 02, 1836

Texas declares independence: During the Texas Revolution, a convention of American Texans meets at Washington-on-the-Brazos and declares the independence of Texas from Mexico. The delegates chose David Burnet as provisional president and confirmed Sam Houston as the commander in chief of all Texan forces. The Texans also adopted a constitution that protected the free practice of slavery, which had been prohibited by Mexican law. Meanwhile, in San Antonio, Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna’s siege of the Alamo continued, and the fort’s 185 or so American defenders waited for the final Mexican assault.

In 1820, Moses Austin, a U.S. citizen, asked the Spanish government in Mexico for permission to settle in sparsely populated Texas. Land was granted, but Austin died soon thereafter, so his son, Stephen F. Austin, took over the project. In 1821, Mexico gained independence from Spain, and Austin negotiated a contract with the new Mexican government that allowed him to lead some 300 families to the Brazos River. Under the terms of the agreement, the settlers were to be Catholics, but Austin mainly brought Protestants from the southern United States. Other U.S. settlers arrived in succeeding years, and the Americans soon outnumbered the resident Mexicans. In 1826, a conflict between Mexican and American settlers led to the Freedonia Rebellion, and in 1830 the Mexican government took measures to stop the influx of Americans. In 1833, Austin, who sought statehood for Texas in the Mexican federation, was imprisoned after calling on settlers to declare it without the consent of the Mexican congress. He was released in 1835.

In 1834, Santa Anna, a soldier and politician, became dictator of Mexico and sought to crush rebellions in Texas and other areas. In October 1835, Anglo residents of Gonzales, 50 miles east of San Antonio, responded to Santa Anna’s demand that they return a cannon loaned for defense against Indian attack by discharging it against the Mexican troops sent to reclaim it. The Mexicans were routed in what is regarded as the first battle of the Texas Revolution. The American settlers set up a provisional state government, and a Texan army under Sam Houston won a series of minor battles in the fall of 1835.

In December, Texas volunteers commanded by Ben Milam drove Mexican troops out of San Antonio and settled in around the Alamo, a mission compound adapted to military purposes around 1800. In January 1836, Santa Anna concentrated a force of several thousand men south of the Rio Grande, and Sam Houston ordered the Alamo abandoned. Colonel James Bowie, who arrived at the Alamo on January 19, realized that the fort’s captured cannons could not be removed before Santa Anna’s arrival, so he remained entrenched with his men. By delaying Santa Anna’s forces, he also reasoned, Houston would have more time to raise an army large enough to repulse the Mexicans. On February 2, Bowie and his 30 or so men were joined by a small cavalry company under Colonel William Travis, bringing the total number of Alamo defenders to about 140. One week later, the frontiersman Davy Crockett arrived in command of 14 Tennessee Mounted Volunteers.

On February 23, Santa Anna and some 3,000 Mexican troops besieged the Alamo, and the former mission was bombarded with cannon and rifle fire for 12 days. On February 24, in the chaos of the siege, Colonel Travis smuggled out a letter that read: “To the People of Texas and All Americans in the World…. I shall never surrender or retreat…. Victory or Death!” On March 1, the last Texan reinforcements from nearby Gonzales broke through the enemy’s lines and into the Alamo, bringing the total defenders to approximately 185. On March 2, Texas’ revolutionary government formally declared its independence from Mexico.

In the early morning of March 6, Santa Anna ordered his troops to storm the Alamo. Travis’ artillery decimated the first and then the second Mexican charge, but in just over an hour the Texans were overwhelmed, and the Alamo was taken. Santa Anna had ordered that no prisoners be taken, and all the Texan and American defenders were killed in brutal hand-to-hand fighting. The only survivors of the Alamo were a handful of civilians, mostly women and children. Several hundred of Santa Anna’s men died during the siege and storming of the Alamo.

Six weeks later, a large Texan army under Sam Houston surprised Santa Anna’s army at San Jacinto. Shouting “Remember the Alamo!” the Texans defeated the Mexicans and captured Santa Anna. The Mexican dictator was forced to recognize Texas’ independence and withdrew his forces south of the Rýo Grande.

Texas sought annexation by the United States, but both Mexico and antislavery forces in the United States opposed its admission into the Union. For nearly a decade, Texas existed as an independent republic, and Houston was Texas’ first elected president. In 1845, Texas joined the Union as the 28th state, leading to the outbreak of the Mexican-American War.

History Channel / Wikipedia / Encyclopedia Britannica / Lone Star Junction / Gilder Lehrman.org (Institute of American History) / Tesas State Historical Association / March 02, 1836: Texas declares independence (CBS News) video


Understanding Military Terminology: Scout of Many Trails (Sea Scout and Boy Scout look at globe with old sailor) ~ Norman Rockwell

Understanding Military Terminology - Military Sealift Command

(DOD) A major command of the United States Navy reporting to Commander Fleet Forces Command, and the United States Transportation Command’s component command responsible for designated common-user sealift transportation services to deploy, employ, sustain, and redeploy United States forces on a global basis. Also called MSC. See also transportation component command.

Joint Publications (JP 4-01.2) Sealift Support to Joint Operations


110707-N-GT324-029 CORONADO, Calif. (July 7, 2011) Vice Adm. Robert S. Harward, commander of Combined Joint Task Force (CTF) 435, walks through sideboys during the SEAL Team 5 change of command ceremony. Harward was the guest speaker at the event. SEAL Team 5 is a special operations component responsible for the training and deployment of personnel in support of U.S. and allied forces missions throughout the Asian and Pacific theaters of responsibility. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Marc Rockwell-Pate/Released)

The Old Salt’s Corner

Going Ashore

During your period of training, it is possible that the ship will visit a port (foreign or domestic). Tradition requires that you obtain permission from the OOD to leave the ship (in the same fashion that you obtained permission to board originally). When requesting permission to leave, present your ID card and have a copy of your orders with you. Before making your way to the Quarterdeck, obtain permission to leave from your supervisor. Formal permission to leave the ship is requested in the following manner:

Salute the OOD and say, “I request permission to go ashore, sir.” (In the same manner as boarding, always address the OOD as “sir”, as he or she represents the authority of the ship’s commanding officer.). The OOD will reply, “Very well”, and return the salute. If the ship is tied up in port, proceed down the gangplank. Remember to pause halfway and face to salute the national ensign aft during daylight hours. If at anchorage, make your way to the launch boarding area. When returning to the ship, follow the same boarding procedure outlined earlier in this section.

When going ashore by launch, junior officers always board first and take the forward seats. Senior officers and VIPs take the rear seats of the launch. Disembarking the launch is done in the reverse order; namely, seniors leave first followed by juniors.

Order of Debarkation

Maritime tradition dictates an order of debarkation at the conclusion of each at-sea period that is never deviated from.


Debarkation at the end of cruise is in the following order:

● Bodies of any casualties.

● Wounded.

● Ship’s commanding officer and/or his personal aide

● Mail.

● All ship’s personnel who have permission to go ashore


“I’m Just Sayin’”

“I’m Just Sayin”

“A tree is known by its fruit;

a man by his deeds.

A good deed is never lost;

he who sows courtesy reaps friendship,

and he who plants kindness gathers love.”

~ Saint Basil.


“Thought for the Day”

“Thought for the Day”

“Sometimes

in order to be happy in the present moment

you have to be willing

to give up all hope for a better past.”

~ Robert Holden, PhD


“What I Have Learned”

“What I Have Learned”

“People will throw stones at you.

Don’t throw them back.

Collect them all,

and build an empire.”

~ Anonymous


Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Teens eating more Tide Pods than ever, despite efforts to stop trend

Teens eating more Tide Pods than ever, despite efforts to stop trend

Despite efforts from Procter & Gamble, Amazon and YouTube to stop teenagers from eating the highly poisonous Tide Pods, the American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) reported the number of exposure cases to the detergent has skyrocketed.

TIDE POD DOUGHNUTS ARE IRREVERENT RESPONSE TO HARMFUL TREND

“We cannot stress enough how dangerous this is to the health of individuals—it can lead to seizure, pulmonary edema, respiratory arrest, coma, and even death. If you or a loved one misuses a laundry packet or has a question about the risk of exposure to one, immediately contact the national Poison Help hotline”, Stephen Kaminski, the AAPCC’s CEO said in a statement.

Eating Tide Pods started as a challenge on social media. Teenagers began posting videos of themselves chewing and gagging on the small, colorful detergent pods, and daring others to follow suit. Some social media users have posted videos of themselves cooking the pods before eating them.

Following the dangerous trend, Tide took action to stop people from eating to pods by putting out warnings and PSA ads starring New England Patriots star player Rob Gronkowski./p>

DOCTORS WARN AGAINST EATING TIDE PODS IN LATEST SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGE

Amazon, which sells the pods on its site, disabled comments from users who wrote the detergent capsules were “delicious”, The Verge reported.

YouTube also vowed to take down videos of anybody doing the “Tide Pod Challenge”.

Procter & Gamble Co., which makes the pods, told Fox Business they have no plans to discontinue producing the detergent packets. The company said it was working with Facebook and YouTube to take down videos of teens eating the pods.

Fox News (01/26/2018) video


If Our Brains Are So Active During Infancy, Why Don’t We Remember Anything From That Time?

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: If Our Brains Are So Active During Infancy, Why Don’t We Remember Anything From That Time?

Ah, infantile amnesia as it’s better known. Weird, isn’t it? It’s a pretty universal phenomenon where people tend to have no memories before the age of four-ish and very few memories of the ages five to seven. What you say in the question is true, our brains are indeed very actively developing in that time, but they are still developing after five years as well.

The specifics aren’t known just yet. It’s tricky because memory itself is very complicated and there are swaths of unknowns that make it difficult to say for certain why we forget these early memories. This will be mostly about consensus and what can be supported with experiments.

(Image based on data from Rubin & Schulkind, 1997)

I’ll skip the whole introduction to memory bit and state that we focus on the episodic/autobiographical memories only. Events that happened to us in a certain place at a certain time. And we have two forgetting phases: the early one until about four years old, and a later one from five to seven years old, where we have very few memories.

The first notion to go is that this is “just normal forgetting”, where it’s just difficult to remember something from that long ago. This has been tested and it was found that forgetting happens quite predictably, and that the early years show fewer memories than they should if it was just regular old forgetting.

This leaves us with infantile amnesia, where there are probably two large camps of explanations. One says that children simply lack the ability to remember and that we don’t have these memories because the ability to make them doesn’t develop until later. This is the late emergence of the autobiographical memory category.

The second big camp is the disappearance of early memory category, which says that the memories are still there, but cannot be accessed. This is also where the language aspect plays a part, where language changes the way memories are encoded, making the more visual memories incompatible with the adult system.

Both of them are sorta right and sorta wrong; reality likely lies somewhere in between. Children do have memories, we know they do, so it’s not like they cannot form new memories. It’s also not likely that the memories are still there, just inaccessible.

Children do remember differently. When adults recall things, there is a who, what, where, when, why, and how. Kids can remember all of these too, but not as well as adults can. Some memories might only contain a who and when (M1), some might have a how, where, and when (M3), but very few memories, if any, have all of the elements. These elements are also not as tightly connected and elaborated.

Kids need to learn this. They need to learn what is important, how to build a narrative. Try talking to a child about their day. It will be very scripted, filled with meaningless details. They tell you about waking up, breakfast, going to school, coming back from school, etc. Almost instinctively an adult will start guiding the story, asking things like “Who was there? What did we do?”

It also helps quite a bit to be aware of you own self, something that doesn’t develop until about eighteen months (give or take a few). Making an autobiographical memory is a bit easier if you can center it around yourself.

(Image from Bauer (2015) based on the Complementary Process Account)

The brain is still growing; it's very plastic, and things are going on that would amaze you. Large structures in the brain are still specifying and changing, and the memory systems are part of that change. There’s a lot of biology involved and I’ll spare you all the sciencey-sounding brain structures. The best way to see a memory is as a skeleton of elements, stored in a sort of web.

When you remember something, one of the elements is activated (it can be by seeing something, smelling something, any kind of stimulus), which travels through the web activating all of the other elements. Once they are all activated, the memory can be built, the blanks are filled in and we “remember”.

This is all nice and well in adults, but as you can imagine this requires an intact web. The weak childhood memories barely hung together as they were, and time is not generous to them. Biological changes can break the weak memories apart, leaving only small, isolated elements that can no longer form a memory. New neurons are formed in the hippocampus, squeezing in between existing memories, breaking the pattern. New strategies, new knowledge, new skills, they all interfere with what and how we remember things. And all of that is happening very fast in the first years of our lives.

We forget because inefficient memories are created by inefficient cognitive systems, trying to be stored by inefficient structures. Early memories are weak, but strong enough to survive some time. This is why children can still remember. Ask a four year old about something important that happened last year and chances are they will have a memory of it. Eventually the memories will decay over the long-term, much faster than normal forgetting, resulting in infantile amnesia when the brain matures.

It’s not that children cannot make memories, and it’s not that the memories are inaccessible. It’s a little bit of both, where the brain grows and changes, the way it stores and retrieves memories, and where old memories decay faster due to biological changes.

All that plasticity, all that development, is part of why you forget. Makes you wonder what might happen if we re-activate neurogenesis and allow the brain to be that plastic in adults, huh? It might heal brain damage, with permanent amnesia as a side-effect … who knows.

ForbesLive ScienceQuoraWikipedia


NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang - U.S. Navy

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang

Rot-Cee: Slang for ROTC, Reserve Officer Training Corps. Also “Neurotic” for a midshipman in the Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps (NROTC).

Rot-Cee Nazi: Derogatory slang term for an ROTC member who has let power go to his or her head; primarily used when such ROTC members board a ship for training, and start pushing around enlisted sailors, who hold higher ranks and/or have had more time on active duty.

Round Turn: To put some elbow grease into it; to work hard at it and make a strong effort to finish the job.


Just for MARINES - The Few. The Proud.

Just for you MARINE

Taco Rice: A popular dish invented and served on Okinawa. It's basically a taco without the shell served on rice. Every Marine, Sailor, Airman and Soldier on Oki has their favorite taco rice place which they swear is the best on the island.

TAD: Temporary Assigned Duty, a duty where the Marine or Sailor is detached from his or her unit temporarily and serves elsewhere; comparable to the Army term TDY.

TBS: The Basic School, the six-month combat training school for new Marine officers.


Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

VFA-32 - “Swordsmen”
CVW-3 - Naval Air Station Oceana, Virginia Beach, Virginia, U.S. - Established February 1, 1945


Where Did That Saying Come From

Where Did That Saying Come From?

Where Did That Saying Come From? “Saved by the Bell”

Saved by the Bell”  Meaning: Saved by a last minute intervention.

Origin: There is a widespread notion that 'saved by the bell' originated as an expression that relates to people being buried alive. The idea was that, if someone were comatose and mistakenly pronounced dead and interred, they could, if they later revived, ring a bell that was attached to the coffin and be saved. The idea is certainly plausible as the fear of being buried alive was and is real. Several prominent people expressed this fear when close to death themselves:

“All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.” ~ Lord Chesterfield, 1769.

“Have me decently buried, but do not let my body be put into a vault in less than two days after I am dead.” ~ deathbed request of George Washington.

“Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.” ~ Frederic Chopin's last words.

“Descheveler, to discheuell; to pull the haire about the eares.”

Just as real were the devices themselves, several of which were patented in England and in the USA. These were known as 'safety coffins' and designs were registered in the 19th century and up to as late as 1955.

As well as a handy bell, Vester's device had the novel enhancement of a glass screen to view the coffin's occupant. Presumably the mourners could wave to the deceased and, if he waved back, they knew they were on to something.

There's no evidence to show that anyone was ever saved by these coffins or even that they were ever put to use, and there's a similar lack of evidence of the phrase 'saved by the bell' ever being used in that sense prior to it having been used in other contexts.

In fact, the expression is boxing slang and it came into being in the latter half of the 19th century. A boxer who is in danger of losing a bout can be 'saved' from defeat by the respite signalled by bell that marks the end of a round. The earliest reference to this that I can find is in the Massachusetts newspaper The Fitchburg Daily Sentinel, February 1893:

“Martin Flaherty defeated Bobby Burns in 32 rounds by a complete knockout. Half a dozen times Flaherty was saved by the bell in the earlier rounds.”

There are other popular etymological fallacies related to death - notably dead ringer and graveyard shift.

Phrases.org UK


Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Science & Technology

Sailors on Aircraft Carriers Could Guide Drones With a Wave of Their Hands - Pilotless drones could still be moved around the flight the old fashioned way, thanks to a few sensors and machine learningCould Elon Musk Actually Start Selling Flamethrowers?The App That Measures and Maps the Rooms in Your HomeHow to Remove Scratches From Your Car's Interior TrimResearchers Want to Make Astronaut Food From Poop and BacteriaSpace-Spotting: How To See Humanity Star and Other Objects in OrbitLearn Arduino by Building 15 Projects from Scratch

Popular Mechanics


The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

The Strange, Mysterious or Downright Weird

12 Sexy Camels Kicked Out of Beauty Contest for Using Botox

12 Sexy Camels Kicked Out of Beauty Contest for Using Botox

What do Megyn Kelly and Saudi Arabia's King Abdulaziz Camel Festival have in common? It turns out, both the morning-show host and the organizers of this hoofed-animal parade have a habit of worrying about other beings' plastic-surgery habits.

Officials with the King Abdulaziz festival kicked out a dozen camels from a camel beauty contest for receiving Botox injections, according to a report published today (Jan. 23) in The National, an Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates-based newspaper.

More than 30,000 camels and 300,000 human visitors showed up for the second annual King Abdulaziz Camel Festival, which runs from Jan. 1to Feb. 1 this year, The National reported. And the top spot of that horde of humped herbivores is worth a pretty penny: This year's prize money totals $57 million, with $31.8 million set aside for awards for “pageantry”. [Why Do Camels Have Humps?]

12 Sexy Camels Kicked Out of Beauty Contest for Using Botox

Perhaps it's all that cash driving the sketchy behavior among camel showers.

“They use Botox for the lips, the nose, the upper lips, the lower lips and even the jaw”, Ali Al Mazrouei, a festival regular, told The National. “It makes the head more inflated, so when the camel comes it's like, 'Oh look at how big that head is. It has big lips, a big nose.'”

Days before the festival, a veterinarian was also “caught red-handed” both giving camels Botox and performing surgery to reduce the size of their ears, The National reported.

The National also reported that, in addition to the height, shape and placement of its hump, “a full, droopy lip and large features are essential to achieving camel celebrity status in the multimillion-dollar industry of camel pageantry.”

The festival website displays this helpful infographic on camel beauty standards.

For a full rundown of camel-show cheating methods, as well as information about the festival, read The National's article here.

Live Science (01/06/2018) video


© CEASAR CHOPPY by cartoonist Marty Gavin - archives Ceasar Choppy's Navy! “© CEASAR CHOPPY” by Marty Gavin

SONG FACTS

“Feel Like Makin’ Love” - Bad Company 1975

“Feel Like Makin’ Love” - Bad Company
Album: Straight Shooter
Released 1975 video

The sophomore single from Straight Shooter, “Feel Like Makin' Love” became Bad Company's second Top 10 hit in the U.S. and Top 20 hit in the UK, following their debut release “Can't Get Enoughvideo.

Vocalist Paul Rodgers began writing the song when he was touring with Free in 1968 in San Francisco. He recalled to Uncut:

“The inspiration was somebody I had met at the time. Life experiences. I traveled, hitchhiking, up to Rio Nido and camped out in the woods with some people I had met. I was gone for days. It was a wonderful experience to be young and free in America in the '60s.”

Several years after Rodgers wrote the song, he played it to Bad Company guitarist Mick Ralphs, who came up with some big chords for the chorus. Ralphs recalled:

“I came up with the riff, and I suggested we put the two together to create a song. I think that's the feel of the song, the verses are very appealing to the ladies, probably more than the men; and then the riff comes in which is all bloody macho. It's a big chorus and it worked out really well.”

Bad Company drummer Simon Kirke explained how this song came together musically: "'Feel Like Making Love' came out of two songs. I'm not sure of the order, but Mick had the original D to G, D to G, little country:

[sings] “Darling when I think about you, I think about love.”

“And then Paul had a song which just had that [sings riff]. And I said, 'Well, why don't you combine the two so that you have the chorus as that heavy riff and then the verse is Mick's verse.' And I forget exactly how it all came about but I know all three of us were in the room and I came up with this descending thing in D. But the original song came out of two different ideas.”

Bad Company official website / Billboard / All Music / Song Facts / Ultimate Classic Rock / Wikipedia

Image: “Straight Shooter (album)” by Bad Company


Trivia

Trivia

● In 1996 the U.S. Treasury Department introduced new counterfeit-proof paper money. What denomination of paper money was the first minted? $100.

● Shown on a 1639 map of “New Netherlands”, the region known in Dutch as Conyne Eylandt (rabbit island) has what modern name of Coney Island.

● Which musical instrument, found in most symphony orchestras, is named after a country? FRENCH HORN.


Jeopardy

A Test for People Who Know Everything

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL” ($200):

“In San Diego on August 4, 2007, Barry Bonds hit this ball 382 feet to tie the all-time home run record of this man, technically.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Baseball Hall of Fame.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL” ($400):

“Here's the ball hit by this Yankee legend who broke a 44-game hitting streak record held by 'Wee Willie' Keeler.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Baseball Hall of Fame.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BASEBALL” ($1,000):

“Check out the incredibly rare 1909-11 t206 card of this 'Flying Dutchman'; in 2013, one went at auction for $2.1 million.”

Answer for People Who Do Not Know Everything, or Want to Verify Their Answer Baseball Hall of Fame.org


Answer to Last Week's Test

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “CUPS” ($600):

“Both Percival and Indiana Jones had this cup as a focus of their search.”

● Answer: The Holy Grail. History Channel

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “HYBRID WORDS” ($200):

“Your mechanic loves this word from the Greek for 'self' & the Latin for 'move'.”

● Answer: Automobile. Learn That.org

From the Jeopardy Archives Category - “BOOKS BY CHAPTER TITLES” ($200):

“Of What Happened to the Ingenious Gentleman in the Inn Which He Took to Be a Castle.”

● Answer: Don Quixote. Cliffs Notes


Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

“Suicide Watch”

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don't do it!”

He said, “Why not? Nobody loves me.”

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.”

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

Joke of the Day

“Told by Jews - flying”

A priest and a rabbi are flying together to an ecumenical convention. As the plane takes off, both men instinctively cross themselves.

The priest explains, “For the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost!”

The rabbi explains, “Wallet, cigars, spectacles, testicles.”

Joke of the Day

“Told by Jews - when life begins”

At an ecumenical religious conference, three panelists are asked where they stand as to when life begins.

The panel’s Catholic priest says, “We believe life begins at conception.”

The liberal Protestant says, “We believe life begins at birth.”

The liberal Rabbi says, “We believe that life begins when the kids are out of the house and the dog dies.”