Old Sailors' Almanac


Week 33, 2016

Previous Week   August 15, 2016 - August 21, 2016   Next Week

Dakota uprising begins in Minnesota on August 17, 1862

Dakota uprising begins in Minnesota on August 17, 1862

Dakota uprising begins in Minnesota: Minnesota erupts in violence as desperate Dakota Indians attack white settlements along the Minnesota River. The Dakota were eventually overwhelmed by the U.S. military six weeks later.

The Dakota Indians were more commonly referred to as the Sioux, a derogatory name derived from part of a French word meaning “little snake.” They were composed of four bands, and lived on temporary reservations in southwestern Minnesota. For two decades, the Dakota were poorly treated by the Federal government, local traders, and settlers. They saw their hunting lands whittled down, and provisions promised by the government rarely arrived. Worse yet, a wave of white settlers surrounded them.

The summer of 1862 was particularly hard on the Dakota. Cutworms destroyed much of their corn crops, and many families faced starvation. Dakota leaders were frustrated by attempts to convince traders to extend credit to tribal members and alleviate the suffering. On August 17, four young Dakota warriors were returning from an unsuccessful hunt when they stopped to steal some eggs from a white settlement. The youths soon picked a quarrel with the hen’s owner, and the encounter turned tragic when the Dakotas killed five members of the family. Sensing that they would be attacked, Dakota leaders determined that war was at hand and seized the initiative. Led by Taoyateduta (also known as Little Crow), the Dakota attacked local agencies and the settlement of New Ulm. Over 500 white settlers lost their lives along with about 150 Dakota warriors.

President Abraham Lincoln dispatched General John Pope, fresh from his defeat at the Second Battle of Bull Run,Virginia, to organize the Military Department of the Northwest. Some Dakota fled to North Dakota, but more than 2,000 were rounded up and over 300 warriors were sentenced to death. President Lincoln commuted most of their sentences, but on December 26, 1862, 38 Dakota men were executed at Mankato, Minnesota. It was the largest mass execution in American history. History Channel / Wikipedia / Encyclopedia Britannica / U.S. Dakota War.org / University of Missouri-Kansas City.edu / Dakota Victims 1862 video

“Sea Dreams”

The Old Salt’s Corner

“Sea Dreams” (Part IV)

I stood like one that had received a blow:

I found a hard friend in his loose accounts,

A loose one in the hard grip of his hand,

A curse in his God-bless-you: then my eyes

Pursued him down the street, and far away,

Among the honest shoulders of the crowd,

Read rascal in the motions of his back,

And scoundrel in the supple-sliding knee.”

“Was he so bound, poor soul?” said the good wife;

“So are we all: but do not call him, love,

Before you prove him, rogue, and proved, forgive.

His gain is loss; for he that wrongs his friend

Wrongs himself more, and ever bears about

A silent court of justice in his breast,

Himself the judge and jury, and himself

The prisoner at the bar, ever condemn'd:

And that drags down his life: then comes what comes

Hereafter: and he meant, he said he meant,

Perhaps he meant, or partly meant, you well.”

“ “With all his conscience and one eye askew” -

Love, let me quote these lines, that you may learn

A man is likewise counsel for himself,

Too often, in that silent court of yours -

“With all his conscience and one eye askew,

So false, he partly took himself for true;

Whose pious talk, when most his heart was dry,

Made wet the crafty crowsfoot round his eye;

Who, never naming God except for gain,

So never took that useful name in vain;

Made Him his catspaw and the Cross his tool,

And Christ the bait to trap his dupe and fool;

Nor deeds of gift, but gifts of grace he forged,

And snakelike slimed his victim ere he gorged;

And oft at Bible meetings, o'er the rest

Arising, did his holy oily best,

Dropping the too rough H in Hell and Heaven,

To spread the Word by which himself had thriven.”

How like you this old satire?”

“Nay,” she said

“I loathe it: he had never kindly heart,

Nor ever cared to better his own kind,

Who first wrote satire, with no pity in it.

But will you hear MY dream, for I had one

That altogether went to music? Still

It awed me.”

Then she told it, having dream'd

Of that same coast.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Part IV of VI)

Full Poem

“I’m Just Sayin”

“I’m Just Sayin”

“Do not invoke conspiracy as explanation when ignorance and incompetence will suffice, as conspiracy implies intelligence.”

~ Hanlon's razor

“Thought for the Day”

“Thought for the Day”

“The way people treat you, is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you.”

~ Author Unknown

“What I Have Learned”

“What I Have Learned”

“Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.”

~ Irving Berlin

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Bizarre News (we couldn’t make up stuff this good – real news story)

Browser The Cat Allowed To Stay At Texas Library

Browser The Cat Allowed To Stay At Texas Library

A Texas town council voted not to evict a cat from the local library, reversing itself and averting a possible cat-astrophe.

Browser has been popular among library patrons and employees for five years, but some officials advocated booting the cat, citing allergy and safety concerns, according to the Tyler Morning Telegraph.

After being dogged by angry cat lovers, the White Settlement town council reconsidered a 2-1 decision evicting Browser the cat from the library and voted unanimously to allow him to stay, according to WFAA reporter Lauren Zakalik. Huffington Post (07/01/2016) video

Should You Really Not Eat Oysters in Months Without an “R”?

Mr. Answer Man Please Tell Us: Should You Really Not Eat Oysters in Months Without an “R”?

You've probably heard the food-world adage about how we shouldn’t consume oysters during months that don’t contain the letter “R”. But does “R” really stand for risk?

Technically, yes. Although, when it comes to eating commercially farmed oysters served in restaurants and sold in supermarkets, this old mnemonic can go out the window.

The idea of not eating oysters during months without an “R” comes from the fact that the summer months are the prime breeding time for “red tides”, or large blooms of algae that grow along the coast and have the tendency to spread toxins that can be absorbed by shellfish, including oysters. This is especially an issue for places with warm water temperatures, and eating locally raised seafood raises your risk of ingesting the toxins.

That said, commercially harvested seafood—which makes up a majority of the seafood sold in restaurants and supermarkets—is strictly regulated by U.S. law, which ensures it is safe to consume. Many restaurants often increase the size of their safety net by serving commercial oysters from cold-water climates during the months of May, June, July, and August.

So, while we wouldn’t recommend digging up your own oysters off the coast of Florida for a mid-summer backyard bake, there’s no reason to fear the product sold in stores or served in restaurants within U.S. borders any month of year, “R” or no “R”. But in case you prefer to play it safe, September is just around the corner.

E-education Penn State University.eduKitchnLive Science15 Shucking Amazing Facts About Oysters - Mental FlossWikipedia

Where Did That Saying Come From? “A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for his client”

Where Did That Saying Come From?

A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for his client:”  Meaning: Literal meaning.

Origin: This proverb is based on the opinion, probably first expressed by a lawyer, that self-representation in court is likely to end badly. As with many proverbs, it is difficult to determine a precise origin but this expression first began appearing in print in the early 19th century. An early example comes in “The flowers of wit, or a choice collection of bon mots”, by Henry Kett, 1814:

...observed the eminent lawyer, “I hesitate not to pronounce, that every man who is his own lawyer, has a fool for a client.”


NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang - U.S. Navy America's Navy - A Global Force For Good

NAVSPEAK aka U.S. Navy Slang

Lifer: A name given to both officers and enlisted men who love the Navy and make it clear they want to be in for 20 or more years; lifers will try to convince others to re-enlist. Also lifers say things like “there is nothing a sailor needs that is not in his sea-bag”; this usually is a comment implying a sailor does not need to see his spouse or children, more rarely acronym associated with people coasting through their Navy career, stands for “Lazy Incompetent Fuck Expecting Retirement”, or “Lowly Indignant Fuck Evading Reality” see also “The ROAD program.”

Lifer Cup: A coffee cup stained brown by repeated use. Never washed, except as a prank by disgruntled juniors.

Lifer Dog: (See “Lifer”, above) “Call me an asshole, call me a cocksucker, call me a son-of-a-bitch; just don't call me a Lifer Dog.”

Lifer Locker: Lounge used by E-6's onboard ship.

Lifer Stripe: The stripes located just above the cuff of the right sleeve on the service dress uniform that indicates four years of service per stripe.

Just for MARINES - U.S. Marines Marines - The Few. The Proud.

Just for you MARINE

Maggie's Drawers: Red flag attached to a pole, used to signal a miss on the rifle range, replaced by a red disk.

Marine Air-Ground Task Force.

MAGTFery: I.e., “Mag-taf-ery.” Anything associated with MAGTF-type operations, or the unique structure of the Marine Corps MAGTF.

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

Naval Aviation Squadron Nicknames

HSM-40 - Helicopter Maritime Strike Squadron: “Airwolves”
FRS (Fleet Replacement Squadron) Naval Station Mayport, Jacksonville, Florida

© CEASAR CHOPPY by cartoonist Marty Gavin - archives Ceasar Choppy's Navy! “© CEASAR CHOPPY” by Marty Gavin


“All Along The Watchtower” - Bob Dylan

“All Along The Watchtower” - Bob Dylan
Album: John Wesley Harding
Released 1991 video

This is about changing established society, starting in the middle of a conversation between two people (the Joker and the Thief). The Thief sympathizes with the Joker, who wants to escape his position in life and hates the values of society. The third verse suddenly shifts the scene, changing from a conversation to an almost unrelated verse filled with imagery of princes, women, and barefoot servants guarding a castle, establishing a place in the past. These figures are said to represent established society. “Somewhere in the distance, a wildcat does growl” suggests danger is approaching, then suddenly “Two riders are approaching” links us back to the first two verses. The riders are the Joker and the Thief, coming to establish a different set of values. The guarded castle suggests there will be confrontation.

While Bob Dylan did the original version of the song, it wasn't as popular until remade by Jimi Hendrix. Dylan liked Hendrix' version so much, he began playing the Hendrix version instead of his own. Jimi Hendrix had replaced the harmonica parts with guitar, and sped up the song.

In 2006, the Australian rock group Wolfmother had success with a song called “Joker & the Thief”, which was inspired by lines from this song.

In addition to Hendrix, this song has also been covered by Lenny Kravitz, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, U2, Eric Clapton, The Grateful Dead and Neil Young.

According to The Sun November 1, 2013, this is the song Dylan has played live the most, having performed it 2,160 times. Runner up is “Like A Rolling Stone” which has been rendered by the singer-songwriter 2,009 times in concert.

Bob Dylan got a good laugh out of hearing that the Village Voice's Richard Goldstein misinterpreted the line “two riders were approaching” as “two writers were approaching.”

Bob Dylan official site / Rolling Stone magazine (100 Greatest Bob Dylan Songs) / Rock & Roll Hall of Fame / Billboard / All Music / Song Facts / Wikipedia

Image: “John Wesley Harding (album)” by Bob Dylan



● Bulls, being color blind, are attracted to any waving flag, and not naturally attracted to the color red

● Two cities are the capital and the seat of government of the Netherlands: The legal capital is Amsterdam, the actual seat of government and residence of the monarchy is The Hague.

● Two bones run from the elbow down to the wrist: Radius, Ulna

Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away her “w”.

Pun of the Day

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.